I'm usually really shy, and I kinda hate being shy, any ways I can try to become un shy?

Dear,

Tragedy. Too bad, too bad. ‘Others’ are controlling everything in my life. Just everything. Reason? Simple. I believe myself to be what others tell me I am. Somebody tells you, ‘You are wonderful’ and you start feeling good about yourself. You don’t know yourself, so you depend upon the other person to tell you who you are and how you are. Now, in feeling good about what the other person is telling, you totally forget that you have given the other person power over yourself. 

You need not worry. When you know yourself, when you are aware of your being, then you are your own master.

For more clarity visit: http://prashantadvait.com

Q&A: https://in.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20150709160851AAeQFrd

Do Good and Bad really exist, as moral values?

Dear, 

What is right and what is wrong? How do you know what is right, and how do you know what is wrong? 

Let us see. Someone told you what is right, and someone told you what is wrong, and not only that, someone also told you there is something called a ‘right’ and something called a ‘wrong’, and you have started believing in it so deeply. What do you mean by right and what do you mean by wrong? All our sense of right and wrong is a borrowed sense of right and wrong. All these ethics, morality, all these are coming from the outside, we never found them on our own. 

. 

‘Speak the Truth. That is the right thing to do’. 

For more clarity I invite you to visit: http://prashantadvait.com/2014/05/19/you...

Q&A: https://in.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20070402180447AAUQFGI

Can space and time really bend?

Dear, 

Given quotes on time and space will help you to settle understanding. 

Time 

“The hurrying mind is rushing to reach, always looking at time. The relaxed mind has already reached, looking beyond time.” 

“The Present is not a moment in time.” 

“The Present is not this moment. Were the present ‘this’ moment, it would change with time. Past and future change in time, Present is beyond time.” 

“The Present is all that ever is. The Present is not time, yet all time arises in it. The Present is not space, yet all space arises in it. 

Space 

“The Present is all that ever is. The Present is not time, yet all time arises in it. The Present is not space, yet all space arises in it.” 

“When you say you have created a beautiful room, you mean you’ve raised attractive walls. In the beauty of vast space, walls don’t exist.”

For more clarity visit: http://prashantadvait.com
Q&A: https://in.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20150709160108AAYECUm

Do Paradise and Hell exist today?

Heaven' and 'hell' are obviously for the mind, they do not have any existence elsewhere. So 'heaven' is a situation in which the mind gets what contends it deeply, a relaxation. That relaxation is not possible in the otherwise agitated life. Common life is sheer agitation. Right? Provocation, agitation, excitement, and the resultant frustration.

'Heaven' is the company that on one hand relaxes you, and on the other hand gives you the courage that it can happen! That it is not impossible, that the situation is not hopeless. "I can be free! My deepest dreams were not just nonsense. There were there to be realised. They can be realized!" And what is your deepest dream? Not the dream that you start assimilating from here and there. Your deepest dream is to just be what you are, what you really are. And the world gives you a thousand dreams, but not this one. This is your own original dream.

'Heaven' is the moment when you realize that this dream is possible. 'Heaven' is the moment when you clearly see that in this hateful world, love is possible! And not only is it possible theoretically, it is possible for you. It's there! It doesn't happen on its own, because you being what you are, you are just stuck. It happens when per-chance in the middle of your bonded world, just by chance you encounter a glimpse of freedom, you encounter the music of love. That is 'heaven'.

You are struggling, laboring, somehow carrying yourself on, trudging and taking life as drudgery. You have given up all hope, and then the hope is rekindled. That is 'heaven'. And not only is it a hope that something can happen in the future, it is there for the taking. Extend your hand and take it! That is 'heaven'. And now you all know what 'hell' is. That is easier to appreciate. Right? That appears less of a concept. It appears more real. We know what 'hell' is. Pretty close! It's sometimes our residential address!

Q&A:

http://www.answers.com/Q/Do_Paradise_and_Hell_exist_today

How do I know my religion?

We will have to understand that religion, the word 'religion' means two things.

One, religion as we know it. And what do you know religion as? You know religion as Hindu religion, Muslim religion and even in Hindu religion there are so many sects 

These religions are nothing but organized belief system. Obviously, these religions have very little value because they are just belief systems. These systems have very little value. And what did we say? That belief will not allow you to see the truth. The religion that we commonly see around us is as in temples, in festivals, in fairs, on all the religious channels on television. 

This religion is nothing but as an organized belief system, which has been handed to you by somebody else. This obviously has very little value. A free mind, an intelligent mind cannot accept this version of religion. That is why this version of religion is disappearing from the most developed and educated societies. The very concept of religion is disappearing from some places. Are you aware that as much as 40% of Japan's population says that it does not believe in any religion? The number of atheists in US is rising day by day. They say that we do not follow any religion because the more one gets educated, the more one develops dislike for this kind of religion 

There is however another religion and that religion is extremely important. The first is religions and there are at least three hundred active religions on earth today and there are numerous religious sects. The first is religions, organized belief systems. The second is religion. Just as science is one and truth is one, religion is also one. This second kind of religion has no adjective attached to it. It is not Hindu, not Muslim, not Sikh, not Christian, not Buddhist. It is just religion and that religion means intelligence. 

That 'Religion' means is 'Dharma'. Do you know how Sanskrit language and Hindi language used the word 'Dharma'? They use the word 'Dharma' in two sense. One is the sense of religion, as you know it. The second is, 'what is right'. So you will have somebody saying to somebody else, 'This is now your Dharma to do this', that Dharma does not mean religion. That 'Dharma' means doing what is right. Now this religion is something else. This is something you can feel interested in, you must feel interested in.'Religions' are of very little value but 'religion' is of great value. 'Religion' is intelligence. The full application of your potential. 

#Prashant Tripathi

Q&A:

http://www.answers.com/Q/How_do_i_know_my_religion

What is the origin of family jealousy?

Why does 'me' become 'we'? That is why the jealousy and anger are there. See 'M' and it has been inverted. The letter 'M' in 'Me' when inverted becomes letter 'W' in 'We'. And then, the entire life becomes inverted. The absence of 'I' is the root of jealousy and anger. This 'we', is the cumulative mind, the collective mind, the social mind, the comparative mind that lives in 'we', that lives in a tribe. Jealousy cannot be there without 'the other'. 

Jealousy is born out of comparison. Jealousy is born form a mind in which many, many are living. To say that there are many, means that they are different entities. And to say that there are different entities, means you have already compared them. Can you say that 'X' is different from 'Y' without comparing 'X' and 'Y'? 'We' means that different entities are present. And whenever there are different things, there would definitely be comparison and hence, jealousy. When the mind does not know the infinite and there are not many infinities, there cannot be many infinities, there is only one infinity. 

When the mind does not know the infinite, it lives in tiny-tiny, plural finites. All of these are measurable. The mind continuously keeps taking measure of all these. And because it is not living in the infinite, because it is living in its own limited sense of self, so it is afraid and it will compare. The only one who does not compare is the one who lives in the infinite. Now there can be no comparison, as infinity cannot be compared. Till the time you have any kind of estimation of yourself, you will compare. 

Do you have any estimation? 'Such is my height, such is my worth, so many marks do I get, this is the amount of money that I earn.' Till the time there is any bit of identification with this, till the time you have taken yourself as a quantity that can be measured, estimated, a number that can be attached to yourself, there is bound to be comparison, because numbers are meant to be compared. And where there is comparison, there is jealousy. Jealousy is nothing but the feeling to have a higher number. 'I need to have a higher number.' And you will always want a higher number till the time there is a number that is important to you. 

Do we see this? We always keep measuring ourselves in a thousand ways. Wherever there is a measurement, there is an assumption that you are a limited and a finite entity. And wherever there will be measurement, there would be comparison. And wherever there is comparison, there is jealousy. Finished, simple. So how to get rid of jealousy then? By Observing ourselves in more tangible ways. 

Don't take the numbers seriously.

When something cannot be put in a finite measure, then it is called infinite. That is what is infinite. That which cannot be measured or expressed numerically is the taste of infinite. So the infinite is not something far away, unattainable. It is so close, so very close. Love and Joy, are they things from another galaxy? So why think of these as, 'Oh! They are two-hundredth level of consciousness beyond me.' Is love beyond you? Do you have any taste of it? 

So, it is not beyond anybody. Right? In the finite, there is jealousy. In the infinite there can no jealousy. In the numerically expressed, if there is anger, then in the infinite which is the simple, there are things like love, like simplicity, like attention, like truth. There can be no anger.

Q&A:

http://www.answers.com/Q/What_is_the_origin_of_family_jealousy

What is the meaning of mutual friendship?

You are lonely and you get somebody to cling to, and then the two of you hang out together, and you call this as 'friendship'. 

What do you mean by 'friendship'? What kind of friends do we have around us? When do we call somebody a friend? 

We say, 'A friend in need is a friend indeed', it means that friendship is a trade 'When I am in need, you help me and when you are in need, I help you, and then we are friends. Your views agree with mine, my views agree with you and we are friends. In all my rubbish, the one who can partner me, he is my friend.' 

In a lucky moment, aloneness happens to you and you are just sitting still with yourself, fully contented, not excited, not sad, but completely with yourself. You are sitting still, and the other fellow comes and says, 'Hey, you are sitting quietly. 

Are you sad? Come, let's go for a drink.' And you call him your friend .So, the one who helps me in getting more and more disturbed, is my friend. 

Of course your enemies cannot come to you and disturb you. Right? Because they would not come near you. Who comes near you? Your friend! What kind of friends are these? And what are they doing to your life? Have you any distinction between friends and enemies? You do not require enemies; you have such 'friends'. You have such friends! 

Remember, a conditioned mind hates to be de-conditioned. It looks for those people and those situations that can reinforce its conditioning. A terrorist will not hang out with a monk, if he wants to remain a terrorist. In order to preserve his identities, his beliefs as a terrorist, it is very important for him to make friends with another terrorist. If he makes friends with a monk, his terrorism will vanish. So he cannot be friends with a monk. That's how our lives run. We make friends with those who are as deeply conditioned as we are, so that we can remain conditioned slaves. That is how we choose our friends. That is the truth of our relationships and friendships. 

You will never make friends with someone who really shows the truth to you. You will make friends with someone who will keep you in illusion. And that's what you call friendship- a bond of mutual deception. Arjun too had a friend, by the name of Krishna. But Krishna was a friend who brought the truth to Arjun. And Arjun found it highly discomforting. He wanted to run away. But that is a friend, a real friend who can hold mirror to you, who can really help you see yourself, not the one who makes you more and more unconscious. Not one who helps you in keeping a dream world around you. 

So, what is friendship? Friendship is nothing. Friendship is a state of being in which you are concerned not with what you can get from the other person, but in the real advancement of the other person. And the real advancement is, discovering the truth. So a friend is a friend only if he brings you closer to the truth; in whose presence you become less agitated, in whose presence a silence comes. Not the one who keeps gossiping with you. 

Find out such friends, and then there will be real magic. But you cannot find them if you keep yourself occupied with friends of this kind. You will first have to create space. You will first have to throw the dirt away. You will first have to create a space in which that real friend can enter. Till the time you are so occupied with these kinds of friends, the real one will not come. He cannot enter. Even if he comes there is no space for him. So get rid of all this that is around you.

Q&A:

http://www.answers.com/Q/What_is_the_meaning_of_mutual_friendship

Can frequent confusion be a symptom of other problems?

There are two words in the question, Confusion and problem, let's understand what they really mean... 

What is confusion? 

Confusion is conflict. Confusion is the presence of many options and your inability to know. Confused, there are so many things and they are tangled together, they are fused together. That's what confusion is. 

The brain is nothing but external influences and remember that it is not only one external influence that enslaves the brain. The brain is a slave to a thousand masters. Brain is a highly fragmented entity and each fragment is ruled by a different influenced. So your brain is a battle ground where all these influences are fighting with each other. 

It's like a man who has been pulled in hundred different directions by hundred different influences. You see what confusion is? Where to go, which way to go? The tragedy is whichever way you go will not be your own way. There are ten people pulling me in ten different directions, even one of them succeeds in taking me in one direction, still it is not my direction, it is an external direction. In confusion you have ten choices in your mind, that's what happens. The funny part is not even a single one of those choices is really your choice. 

You don't even think of that. The moment you see that freedom has already began. We don't even see that. We are caught in an illusion that those choices that have been given by others to us are actually our choices. 

The one who starts seeing that these are not my choices, for him the process of freedom has already began in some sense, faintly it has already began. So, first of all you look at your life and see that whatever you do throughout the day, what aims, aspirations, ambitions you have for your life and how much of that has been driven by external masters. 

An intelligent man never has any options. He just knows the right thing, just knows. He doesn't wonder out of these options which one to choose. He just knows the right thing. He's never confused, he knows. An intelligent man is choice less, he sees only one road which is his road and he knows that this is it. He does not have any botheration about the rest of it. 

The root of all problems whether major or minor or whatever nature; is one. And we do not look at that root. Instead we occupy ourselves finding solutions to the secondary and tertiary problems. The primary is one and we do not look at that. In some sense we do not want to look at that because as you said, 'Problems keep us occupied.' 

Mind wants something to be busy with. For the mind it is a nightmare if all the problems are resolved. The mind will say, 'What will I do then? How will I remain alive? I remain alive only when I am struggling. I remain alive only when I am in conflicts.' So problems are like toys for the mind. Problems are the mind's fodder. If problems are not there mind starts feeling suffocated. It in fact, creates problems for its own survival. Mind would create problems for its own survival. What is the major problem? That we need problems. That is the mother problem; that is the primary problem, and we do not look at that. 

You don't need to solve the problem, you need to solve the mind that attracts the problem. The mind is the central problem and we don't look at that. We find great pleasure, great satisfaction and great doer-ship in solving problems. We praise somebody when we say that he is a great problem solver. If somebody is a good problem solver, it only means that he is opening himself up to receive more and more problems. No problem comes to you without your consent. 

Problems come to you because you need problems to maintain your identity. we don't know what to do because there is something that we want to get. How to get it is what we don't know. But when I am complete, then nothing is a problem. Everything is happening all around me, but it cannot take away anything from me. My basic existence is not at stake. I will not be shivering. I know that there is something valuable that I already have with me and it can't be taken away. So the situations are there of this and that nature, but that's alright. 

Nothing is a problem. 

prashantadvait.com 

Q&A:

http://www.answers.com/Q/Can_frequent_confusion_be_a_symptom_of_other_problems

What is the Advantages and dis advantages of friends?

Before discussing advantages and disadvantages let's see what friendship means without understanding friendship we can't understand whether it is advantageous or disadvantageous. 

Do you really have a friend? If I am your friend and you want to be alone, what am I to do? Chase you, get stuck to you or allow you to be alone. Do we really have friends? Somebody has said that a person is worth being with if you feel alone in his company. Only that person is worth being with. That's the test. 

Do I feel crowded with this person or do I feel peaceful, alone in his company? That's your real friend; the one who allows you to be alone. Not somebody who starts cluttering your mind. What do your friends do? Ask yourself. Are they a crowd or are they a peaceful influence? 

Friend by definition is a well-wisher. A friend by definition is a man who would celebrate if you are improving. Not a man who would be jealous and irritated seeing you walk the path of liberation. He is not a friend at all. But don't condemn him, because if he is not a friend to you, firstly he is not even a friend to himself! He is his own enemy, how can he be a friend to you? We make friends with so many people, without even asking, "Is that fellow a friend to himself first?" He is his own enemy, how can he be my friend? 

The one who does not know what is good for him, how will he know or like what is good for you? He is bound to resent it. How can you give importance to their resentment? If somebody is really your friend, he would not want to be pleased. If somebody is really your friend, he would see the truth in your eyes. He would not say that kindly act as per my beliefs and convenience. He would not say that do not tell me things that I do not want to hear. And if there are such people in your life who run away from you on hearing the truth, kindly let them run away, because they were anyway never in your life in the first place.

The only true relating that is possible, is that of friendliness. 

Trade is based on 'give and take'. Relationships are based on 'love'. And love is giving. You don't expect a 'take' in love. This 'give and take' is violence, because if there is 'give and take', you always want more 'take' than 'give', as happens in business. Right? 

In love, you don't bother about taking. When there is a need to take, you just take. Have you observed that with your friends? If you have really been friendly with someone, you don't bother too much about asking. If there is something kept on his table, do you seek his permission? If you seek his permission, then it is some kind of a business arrangement. No, relationships are not based on 'give and take'. The basis of relating is attention, presence and love. It is not 'give and take'. 

prashantadvait.com 

Q&A:

http://www.answers.com/Q/What_is_the_Advantages_and_dis_advantages_of_friends

Why are people envious of each other?

Let's get deep into this What is jealousy? 

Why this plurality? Why does 'me' become 'we'? That is why the jealousy and anger are there. See 'M' and it has been inverted. The letter 'M' in 'Me' when inverted becomes letter 'W' in 'We'. 

And then, the entire life becomes inverted. The absence of 'I' is the root of jealousy and anger. This 'we', is the cumulative mind, the collective mind, the social mind, the comparative mind that lives in 'we', that lives in a tribe. Jealousy cannot be there without 'the other'. 

Jealousy is born out of comparison. Jealousy is born form a mind in which many, many are living. To say that there are many, means that they are different entities. And to say that there are different entities, means you have already compared them. Can you say that 'X' is different from 'Y' without comparing 'X' and 'Y'? 'We' means that different entities are present. And whenever there are different things, there would definitely be comparison and hence, jealousy. 

When the mind does not know the infinite and there are not many infinities, there cannot be many infinities, there is only one infinity. When the mind does not know the infinite, it lives in tiny-tiny, plural finites. All of these are measurable. The mind continuously keeps taking measure of all these. And because it is not living in the infinite, because it is living in its own limited sense of self, so it is afraid and it will compare. 

The only one who does not compare is the one who lives in the infinite. 

Now there can be no comparison, as infinity cannot be compared. Till the time you have any kind of estimation of yourself, you will compare. Do you have any estimation? 'Such is my height, such is my worth, so many marks do I get, this is the amount of money that I earn.' Till the time there is any bit of identification with this, till the time you have taken yourself as a quantity that can be measured, estimated, a number that can be attached to yourself, there is bound to be comparison, because numbers are meant to be compared. 

And where there is comparison, there is jealousy. Jealousy is nothing but the feeling to have a higher number. 'I need to have a higher number.' And you will always want a higher number till the time there is a number that is important to you. If your salary figure is important to you, you cannot avoid feeling jealous of someone who earns more than you. 

Do we see this? We always keep measuring ourselves in a thousand ways. Wherever there is a measurement, there is an assumption that you are a limited and a finite entity. And wherever there will be measurement, there would be comparison. And wherever there is comparison, there is jealousy. 

Jealousy comes from dependence. The one who is not dependent cannot be jealous. The one who is his own master cannot be jealous. To be jealous means that I have accepted somebody as my master and now I want this master to remain with me. If he goes to someone else, then I feel a certain pain, and this pain is called 'jealousy'. Do you get it? 

prashantadvait.com

Q&A:

http://www.answers.com/Q/Why_are_people_envious_of_each_other

Which kind of friend do you prefer?

What is friendship? What do you mean by friendship? You are lonely and you get somebody to cling to, and then the two of you hang out together, and you call this as 'friendship'. 

What do you mean by 'friendship'? What kind of friends do we have around us? When do we call somebody a friend? 

We say, 'A friend in need is a friend indeed', it means that friendship is a trade. 'When I am in need, you help me and when you are in need, I help you, and then we are friends. Your views agree with mine, my views agree with you and we are friends. I need to copy assignments and you are always there, then we are friends. In all my rubbish, the one who can partner me, he is my friend.' 

In a lucky moment, aloneness happens to you and you are just sitting still with yourself, fully contented, not excited, not sad, but completely with yourself. You are sitting still, and the other fellow comes and says, 'Hey, you are sitting quietly. Are you sad? Come, let's go for a drink.' And you call him your friend. You call him your 'friend'. 

The one who helps me in getting more and more disturbed, is my friend. Of course your enemies cannot come to you and disturb you. Right? Because they would not come near you. Who comes near you? Your friend! What kind of friends are these? And what are they doing to your life? Have you any distinction between friends and enemies? You do not require enemies; you have such 'friends'. You have such friends! 

Remember, a conditioned mind hates to be de-conditioned. It looks for those people and those situations that can reinforce its conditioning. A terrorist will not hang out with a monk, if he wants to remain a terrorist. In order to preserve his identities, his beliefs as a terrorist, it is very important for him to make friends with another terrorist. If he makes friends with a monk, his terrorism will vanish. So he cannot be friends with a monk. That's how our lives run. We make friends with those who are as deeply conditioned as we are, so that we can remain conditioned slaves. That is how we choose our friends. That is the truth of our relationships and friendships. 

You will never make friends with someone who really shows the truth to you. You will make friends with someone who will keep you in illusion. And that's what you call friendship- a bond of mutual deception. 

So, what is friendship? Friendship is nothing. Friendship is a state of being in which you are concerned not with what you can get from the other person, but in the real advancement of the other person. And the real advancement is, discovering the truth. So a friend is a friend only if he brings you closer to the truth; in whose presence you become less agitated, in whose presence a silence comes. Not the one who keeps gossiping with you. 

Find out such friends, and then there will be real magic. But you cannot find them if you keep yourself occupied with friends of this kind. You will first have to create space. You will first have to throw the dirt away. You will first have to create a space in which that real friend can enter. 

Till the time you are so occupied with these kinds of friends, the real one will not come. He cannot enter. Even if he comes there is no space for him. So get rid of all this that is around you. It will be a little painful in the beginning, because you have become used to living with these people. But bear that pain, pass through that pain. 

prashantadvait.com 

Q&A:

http://www.answers.com/Q/Which_kind_of_friend_do_you_prefer

What was the highest heaven?

'Heaven' and 'hell' are obviously for the mind, they do not have any existence elsewhere. So 'heaven' is a situation in which the mind gets what contends it deeply, a relaxation. That relaxation is not possible in the otherwise agitated life. Common life is sheer agitation. Right? Provocation, agitation, excitement, and the resultant frustration. 

'Heaven' is the company that on one hand relaxes you, and on the other hand gives you the courage that it can happen! That it is not impossible, that the situation is not hopeless. "I can be free! My deepest dreams were not just nonsense. There were there to be realised. They can be realized!" 

And what is your deepest dream? Not the dream that you start assimilating from here and there. Your deepest dream is to just be what you are, what you really are. And the world gives you a thousand dreams, but not this one. This is your own original dream. 'Heaven' is the moment when you realize that this dream is possible. 'Heaven' is the moment when you clearly see that in this hateful world, love is possible! And not only is it possible theoretically, it is possible for you. It's there! 

It doesn't happen on its own, because you being what you are, you are just stuck. It happens when per-chance in the middle of your bonded world, just by chance you encounter a glimpse of freedom, you encounter the music of love. That is 'heaven'. 

You are struggling, laboring, somehow carrying yourself on, trudging and taking life as drudgery. You have given up all hope, and then the hope is rekindled. That is 'heaven'. And not only is it a hope that something can happen in the future, it is there for the taking. Extend your hand and take it! That is 'heaven'. 

The false will never admit that I am just a shadow. It will say that nothing but me is there. The world itself is 'heaven'. When is the world 'heaven'? When you realize that the world is like a door, a gateway to the beyond, now it is 'heaven'! The beyond is not heaven. Remember! Because beyond, there is no mind, and 'heaven' and 'hell' are in the mind. The world is 'heaven', when it is a gateway to the beyond. The world itself is 'hell' when the world becomes an objective reality in itself. "I am all!" When the world says, "I am all that there is," then the world is 'hell'. 

Everything is neither 'heaven' nor 'hell'. 'Heaven' exists for us because we are distant from the truth. When you are far something, only then it seems like 'heaven'. 

We said that the world is a gateway to the beyond. Beyond, there is no 'heaven' or 'hell'! There is just an empty stillness. 'Heaven' is for the one who has lost his way and who suddenly gets a guide. 'Hell' is when you have lost your way, and there are voices around that say that you cannot go back, that there is no home. 

A point comes where there is neither 'heaven' nor 'hell'. So, from 'hell' to 'heaven' and then 'beyond'! 

The very thing that was craving for 'heaven', the very thing that was suffering and for it 'heaven' was like a balm upon the suffering, that very thing is now very peacefully retired. Gone. Beyond. Finished.

Q&A:

http://www.answers.com/Q/What_was_the_highest_heaven

What is wife motive shows to husband she love much?

To understand 'Love', you will need to firstly rid yourself of all the 'knowledge' you have so far had about love. You have been told that care, attachment, concern, togetherness, sameness, sacrifice etc. are what constitutes love. You have also been told that love is what happens 'between' two human beings, or 'between' a human being and something else. You have also been told that love is usually to be found in 'relationships' like mother-daughter, husband-wife etc. You have been told that when you are in love you miss your beloved. You have also been told that love is a nice-nice thing.

All this is Wrong Love can never be found in relationships. The day a relationship occurs, the possibility of love dies. A man can possibly be in love, but no husband can ever love his wife. A woman can be in love, but no mother can ever love her son. Our love never emanates from the heart but from our mind. 

This is a very accidental love. You don't know your loved ones except via the tunnel-vision of your relationship. The only true relating that is possible, is that of friendliness.No motives. 

prashantadvait.com

Q&A:

http://www.answers.com/Q/What_is_wife_motive_shows_to_husband_she_love_much

Do all saints go to heaven?

Let's first know what is heaven? 

'Heaven' and 'hell' are obviously for the mind, they do not have any existence elsewhere. So 'heaven' is a situation in which the mind gets what contends it deeply, a relaxation. That relaxation is not possible in the otherwise agitated life. Common life is sheer agitation. Right? Provocation, agitation, excitement, and the resultant frustration. 

'Heaven' is the company that on one hand relaxes you, and on the other hand gives you the courage that it can happen! That it is not impossible, that the situation is not hopeless. "I can be free! My deepest dreams were not just nonsense. There were there to be realised. They can be realized!" 

And what is your deepest dream? Not the dream that you start assimilating from here and there. Your deepest dream is to just be what you are, what you really are. And the world gives you a thousand dreams, but not this one. This is your own original dream. 'Heaven' is the moment when you realize that this dream is possible. 'Heaven' is the moment when you clearly see that in this hateful world, love is possible! And not only is it possible theoretically, it is possible for you. It's there! 

It doesn't happen on its own, because you being what you are, you are just stuck. It happens when per-chance in the middle of your bonded world, just by chance you encounter a glimpse of freedom, you encounter the music of love. That is 'heaven'. 

You are struggling, labouring, somehow carrying yourself on, trudging and taking life as drudgery. You have given up all hope, and then the hope is rekindled. That is 'heaven'. And not only is it a hope that something can happen in the future, it is there for the taking. Extend your hand and take it! That is 'heaven'. 

The false will never admit that I am just a shadow. It will say that nothing but me is there. The world itself is 'heaven'. When is the world 'heaven'? When you realize that the world is like a door, a gateway to the beyond, now it is 'heaven'! The beyond is not heaven. Remember! Because beyond, there is no mind, and 'heaven' and 'hell' are in the mind. The world is 'heaven', when it is a gateway to the beyond. The world itself is 'hell' when the world becomes an objective reality in itself. "I am all!" When the world says, "I am all that there is," then the world is 'hell'. 

Everything is neither 'heaven' nor 'hell'. 'Heaven' exists for us because we are distant from the truth. When you are far something, only then it seems like 'heaven'. 

We said that the world is a gateway to the beyond. Beyond, there is no 'heaven' or 'hell'! There is just an empty stillness. 'Heaven' is for the one who has lost his way and who suddenly gets a guide. 'Hell' is when you have lost your way, and there are voices around that say that you cannot go back, that there is no home. 

A point comes where there is neither 'heaven' nor 'hell'. So, from 'hell' to 'heaven' and then 'beyond'! 

The very thing that was craving for 'heaven', the very thing that was suffering and for it 'heaven' was like a balm upon the suffering, that very thing is now very peacefully retired. Gone. Beyond. Finished.

Q&A:

http://www.answers.com/Q/Do_all_saints_go_to_heaven

If you are good will you go to heaven?

Let's first know about what is good? 

How do you know whether something is good or bad? How do you decide? 

We have been told that something is good and something is bad. That is the way we go about deciding everything - what is right, what is wrong, what is fair, what is unfair - on the basis of criteria that has been given to us in advance. That this is good, this is bad. Only by the attention and understanding, we can say something as good or bad. 

Now let's know about heaven. 

'Heaven' and 'hell' are obviously for the mind, they do not have any existence elsewhere. So 'heaven' is a situation in which the mind gets what contends it deeply, a relaxation. That relaxation is not possible in the otherwise agitated life. Common life is sheer agitation. Right? Provocation, agitation, excitement, and the resultant frustration. 

You are struggling, labouring, somehow carrying yourself on, trudging and taking life as drudgery. You have given up all hope, and then the hope is rekindled. That is 'heaven'. And not only is it a hope that something can happen in the future, it is there for the taking. Extend your hand and take it! That is 'heaven'. 

The false will never admit that I am just a shadow. It will say that nothing but me is there. The world itself is 'heaven'. When is the world 'heaven'? When you realize that the world is like a door, a gateway to the beyond, now it is 'heaven'! The beyond is not heaven. Remember! Because beyond, there is no mind, and 'heaven' and 'hell' are in the mind. The world is 'heaven', when it is a gateway to the beyond. The world itself is 'hell' when the world becomes an objective reality in itself. "I am all!" When the world says, "I am all that there is," then the world is 'hell'. 

Everything is neither 'heaven' nor 'hell'. 'Heaven' exists for us because we are distant from the truth. When you are far something, only then it seems like 'heaven'. 

We said that the world is a gateway to the beyond. Beyond, there is no 'heaven' or 'hell'! There is just an empty stillness. 'Heaven' is for the one who has lost his way and who suddenly gets a guide. 'Hell' is when you have lost your way, and there are voices around that say that you cannot go back, that there is no home. 

A point comes where there is neither 'heaven' nor 'hell'. So, from 'hell' to 'heaven' and then 'beyond'! 

The very thing that was craving for 'heaven', the very thing that was suffering and for it 'heaven' was like a balm upon the suffering, that very thing is now very peacefully retired. Gone. Beyond. Finished.

Q&A:

http://www.answers.com/Q/If_you_are_good_will_lyou_go_to_heaven&altQ=If_your_good_wil_lyou_go_to_heaven

How friendship help the society?

Let's understand what does friendship and society mean, 

What is friendship? What do you mean by friendship? You are lonely and you get somebody to cling to, and then the two of you hang out together, and you call this as 'friendship'. What do you mean by 'friendship'? What kind of friends do we have around us? When do we call somebody a friend? 

We say, 'A friend in need is a friend indeed', it means that friendship is a trade. 'When I am in need, you help me and when you are in need, I help you, and then we are friends. Your views agree with mine, my views agree with you and we are friends. I need to copy assignments and you are always there, then we are friends. In all my rubbish, the one who can partner me, he is my friend.' 

what is friendship? Friendship is nothing. Friendship is a state of being in which you are concerned not with what you can get from the other person, but in the real advancement of the other person. And the real advancement is, discovering the truth. So a friend is a friend only if he brings you closer to the truth; in whose presence you become less agitated, in whose presence a silence comes. Not the one who keeps gossiping with you. 

Man lives in relationship and even if other people are not physically present, there will be thoughts of other people, society is here then(pointing towards the head), in your head. A healthy relationship cannot be born as a reaction to unhealthy relationship. 

Society has taught us what kind of features to look for in people to love. Society is not the one thing. You create your own society. What do you think these hundred or thousand people that you know in your life, they are your society? There are millions of societies parallely running. 

You think, that there is this finite space and the mind thinks that this room is all there is. Similarly you think that this limited society, all your uncles and aunts, friends and relatives is society. There are a thousand new societies waiting for you, a thousand new worlds waiting for you.

 

So,Find out such friends, and then there will be real magic. 

prashantadvait.com

Q&A:

http://www.answers.com/Q/How_friendship_help_the_society

How do atheists see problems?

See who ever that person is, the problem arise from the mind. 

Let's see what is problem? 

See everybody has some pain points or other. Right? In fact, multiple pain points. Everybody has some confusion or the other. We all have strife and conflicts in life. Don't we have that? Where does all that come from? Why do we need that? Let me put it this way. Is that necessary? All the stuff that we have filled our life with, is that really necessary? Can't we do without that? It is not necessary actually. We can still do without it, yet we ask for it. There is nobody to whom problems come. We ask for the problems. And when I say, 'We', I mean the mind; the ego specifically. We ask for problems. Otherwise, how is it possible that every single living being is besotted with some or the other set of problems? How is it possible? It is only possible because we want problems. We beg for problems. We beg for suffering and pain. 

You don't need to solve the problem, you need to solve the mind that attracts the problem. 

The mind is the central problem and we don't look at that. We find great pleasure, great satisfaction and great doer-ship in solving problems. We praise somebody when we say that he is a great problem solver. If somebody is a good problem solver, it only means that he is opening himself up to receive more and more problems. 

No problem comes to you without your consent. Problems come to you because you need problems to maintain your identity. 

we don't know what to do because there is something that we want to get. How to get it is what we don't know. But when I am complete, then nothing is a problem. Somebody has rejected me, it's not a problem because no rejection can make me feel bad about myself. I don't have money, it is alright. I emerged from the soil, and existence will provide enough to feed me at least.' 

Nothing is a problem. 

Prashantadvait.com

Q&A:

http://www.answers.com/Q/How_do_atheists_see_problems

When I speak my own mind to my family they switch things around to their own advantage and call me manipulative when I did nothing wrong. I do not have a manipulative bone in my body. What do I do?

If I really love someone I would try to share what I have. And as adults it is your responsibility that if you really love your parents, you should share the truth with them and not let them continue in darkness. 

If the parents are unable to see something, it is your responsibility to help them see the Truth. If you really love them, you will tell them, 'I am no more 10 years old.' And when I say that you tell them, I do not mean in a violent way. You will help them see the facts. You will not let them continue in their illusions. That is the action of love. To help the other one to come to the Truth. 

But I am asking you that is it really about your powerlessness in front of your parents, or it is just that you have become so used to certain comforts and privileges that you do not want to get rid of them? It is the comforts and privileges that are more important not the love for parents. We need to honestly ask ourselves this question. I am not alleging anything, I am just prompting you to ask yourself this question. 

Do you understand, that you are a fully grown up person? Do you understand that? They helped you. Wonderful! They did. So what is your responsibility now? To help! And how does one help an adult? How does a man help another man? How does he help? By acting like a kid? That you keep on supporting me. Is that how you help your parents? 

Understand this. We are talking of help. There are two adults, how does one help the other? And they claim to love each other. And we wish that they love each other. Now how do they help each other? By one remaining parasitic, by one always clinging and the other commanding. Is that a helping relationship? Is that a loving relationship? 

Love is not about keeping each other blind. See, I have come to you. What is my responsibility? To let all of us float in a dream world, so that our illusions are not shattered, to preserve our falseness. Is that my responsibility here? Or is my responsibility to help us see better? I do not know because you are the one in the hot seat. It is your relationship. You need to find out. You need to figure out whether it is really love or something else. Because love doesn't bother for petty things. It's not one's convenient dependence over the other. It is not at all that. You need to look sharply, be very attentive. Not have prejudices in mind. Forget for a while that you are meant to behave in such and such way and just look at the facts. And then it will be all very, very clear. 

Initially you might feel a little uncomfortable because you have never done this earlier but later on you will find that you have accepted, that you are mature now. You must accept your adulthood and maturity. And in fact, later on you may find that even your parents are thanking you.They are saying, 'Thank you for bringing this to us.We are glad that we are your parents.' But that happens only in one out of thousand cases. You are on the hot seat. Your life. I can only indicate a particular way, Right? 

prashantadvait.com

Q&A:

http://www.answers.com/Q/When_I_speak_my_own_mind_to_my_family_they_switch_things_around_to_their_own_advantage_and_call_me_manipulative_when_I_did_nothing_wrong._I_do_not_have_a_manipulative_bone_in_my_body._What_do_I_do

Do you get to pick to go to heaven?

First of all you must know what is meant by Heaven then i am sure you will get your answer. 

Read this for clearance: 

'Heaven' and 'hell' are obviously not geographies. 

'Heaven' and 'hell' are for the mind, they do not have any existence elsewhere.So 'HEAVEN' is a situation in which the mind gets what contends it deeply, a relaxation. That relaxation is not possible in the otherwise agitated life. Common life is sheer agitation. Right? Provocation, agitation, excitement, and the resultant frustration.

'Heaven' is the company that on one hand relaxes you, and on the other hand gives you the courage that it can happen! That it is not impossible, that the situation is not hopeless. "I can be free! My deepest dreams were not just nonsense. There were there to be realised. They can be realized!" And what is your deepest dream? Not the dream that you start assimilating from here and there. Your deepest dream is to just be what you are, what you really are. And the world gives you a thousand dreams, but not this one. This is your own original dream. 

'Heaven' is the moment when you realize that this dream is possible. 'Heaven' is the moment when you clearly see that in this hateful world, love is possible! And not only is it possible theoretically, it is possible for you. It's there! It doesn't happen on its own, because you being what you are, you are just stuck. It happens when per-chance in the middle of your bonded world, just by chance you encounter a glimpse of freedom, you encounter the music of love. That is 'heaven'. You are struggling, labouring, somehow carrying yourself on, trudging and taking life as drudgery. You have given up all hope, and then the hope is rekindled. That is 'heaven'. And not only is it a hope that something can happen in the future, it is there for the taking. Extend your hand and take it! That is 'heaven'. 

And now we all know what 'hell' is. That is easier to appreciate. Right? That appears less of a concept. It appears more real. Hell!We know what 'hell' is. Pretty close! It's sometimes our residential address! All that convinces you that this is life, the company of forces that tell you not to fly too high, the forces that tell you that compromise is the name of the game, the forces that tell you to play safe and remain secure, the forces that tell you that the world is a fearful place, that you must be afraid, that you must be concerned about yourself, the forces that tell you that you are born to follow practices and patterns, the company of such voices is 'hell'. 

The world is a gateway to the beyond. Beyond, there is no 'heaven' or 'hell'! There is just an empty stillness of mind. 'Heaven' is for the one who has lost his way and who suddenly gets a guide. 'Hell' is when you have lost your way, and there are voices around that say that you cannot go back, that there is no home. A point comes where there is neither 'heaven' nor 'hell'. So, from 'hell' to 'heaven' and then 'beyond'!The very thing that was craving for 'heaven', the very thing that was suffering and for it 'heaven' was like a balm upon the suffering, that very thing is now very peacefully retired. Gone. Beyond. Finished. 

prashantadvait.com

Q&A:

http://www.answers.com/Q/Do_you_get_to_pick_to_go_to_heaven

How does an athlete show good leadership?

Dear whoever it is let's find who is a real leader, what are his characteristics 

A real leader doesn't influence, he liberates from influence. 

The real leader needs no followers, he lives in friends. 

Leader first leads himself/herself. 

The real leader is essentially self-centred. 

Some characteristics: 

He knows, he is inseparable and harmonious part of the Total and lives relaxed. 

He knows others are aspect of the same Total with whom there is a healthy, violence-free relationship. 

He knows that things are happening through me. 

And he allows the game to play through him. 

There is playfulness in him. 

He is totally immersed in the present and lives unpredictably. 

He knows facts and lives in faith. 

For him only Total is important. 

He cares only for existential values. 

Now what is leadership? 

Leadership is doing what you must. 

The leader is happy living his own life.His being is enough. That is the test of the real leader and the fake leader. The fake leader will collapse if you take away his designation, his identity, his name, his perks. He will have nothing left. And nobody will listen to him. But for the real leader, take away everything from him, yet he loses nothing. 

prashantadvait.com

Q&A:

http://www.answers.com/Q/How_does_an_athlete_show_good_leadership

Is it too late to go to heaven?

Let's first know what is heaven? Then you will get your answer. 

'Heaven' and 'hell' are obviously for the mind, they do not have any existence elsewhere. So 'heaven' is a situation in which the mind gets what contends it deeply, a relaxation. That relaxation is not possible in the otherwise agitated life. Common life is sheer agitation. Right? Provocation, agitation, excitement, and the resultant frustration. 

'Heaven' is the company that on one hand relaxes you, and on the other hand gives you the courage that it can happen! That it is not impossible, that the situation is not hopeless. "I can be free! My deepest dreams were not just nonsense. There were there to be realised. They can be realized!" 

You are struggling, laboring, somehow carrying yourself on, trudging and taking life as drudgery. You have given up all hope, and then the hope is rekindled. That is 'heaven'. And not only is it a hope that something can happen in the future, it is there for the taking. Extend your hand and take it! That is 'heaven'. 

The false will never admit that I am just a shadow. It will say that nothing but me is there. The world itself is 'heaven'. When is the world 'heaven'? When you realize that the world is like a door, a gateway to the beyond, now it is 'heaven'! The beyond is not heaven. Remember! Because beyond, there is no mind, and 'heaven' and 'hell' are in the mind. The world is 'heaven', when it is a gateway to the beyond. The world itself is 'hell' when the world becomes an objective reality in itself. "I am all!" When the world says, "I am all that there is," then the world is 'hell'. 

Everything is neither 'heaven' nor 'hell'. 'Heaven' exists for us because we are distant from the truth. When you are far something, only then it seems like 'heaven'. 

We said that the world is a gateway to the beyond. Beyond, there is no 'heaven' or 'hell'! There is just an empty stillness. 'Heaven' is for the one who has lost his way and who suddenly gets a guide. 'Hell' is when you have lost your way, and there are voices around that say that you cannot go back, that there is no home. 

A point comes where there is neither 'heaven' nor 'hell'. So, from 'hell' to 'heaven' and then 'beyond'! 

Prashantadvait.com

Q&A:

http://www.answers.com/Q/Is_it_too_late_to_go_to_heaven

Is it possible to be friends with you guys without knowing you because I really want some friends?

Sure it can be! provided you understand, what is friendship and what is knowing in real. Can we go into this? 

what is friendship? Friendship is nothing. Friendship is a state of being in which you are concerned not with what you can get from the other person, but in the real advancement of the other person. And the real advancement is, discovering the truth. So a friend is a friend only if he brings you closer to the truth; in whose presence you become less agitated, in whose presence a silence comes. Not the one who keeps gossiping with you. 

Don't ask about the world. Ask about your own mind. Can I have a mind that sees clearly? Can I have a mind that is not identified? If you are biased, prejudiced, if you are carrying concepts and notions, you will look at the entire world only according to your limited concepts and notions. You will never know the truth. You will not know the truth because you believe that you already know the truth. 

Stop bothering about the other person. When you meet somebody next time, stop bothering about what that person is like. Let the question turn inwards. Ask yourself, 'Am I attentive?' If you are attentive, whatever you will know will be the truth. Don't bother yourself with this and that. Bother yourself only with this (mind). Is this in the right place? Is this close to the heart? If the mind is close to the heart, it will know the real. Otherwise, there is no way of knowing. There can be no formula, no test, nothing. 

prashantadvait.com

Q&A:

http://www.answers.com/Q/Is_it_possible_to_be_friends_with_you_guys_without_knowing_you_because_i_really_want_some_friends

When a teenager decides that he does not want to give into peer pressure is this cognitive or psychosocial development?

This is the development of fearlessness. 

You see, there are two kinds of people. One who are okay with themselves, they have a sense of assuredness. They do not struggle to get compliments. They say that I am alright, not much is to be achieved. They are not hungry.Their predominant thought is not about satisfying themselves, someway or the other. They feel that they are already full. These people do not demand much from anybody. They relate, they connect, they talk, and they communicate. While doing all these, they do not have a motive of obtaining something from this or that. 

Then there is another kind of mind. He is deeply dependent. He is afraid. His life is a chain of expectations.Everything that he does,everything that he thinks, all are meant for the sake of others, for the assumptions of others. 'How I am looking at others? What will the people say? Will the society approve of me? Will I be considered respectable?' That is the reason why the world around is so afraid, such a slave. 

Dependence is slavery. Whenever you will communicate with the objective of gaining somebody's agreement, with the objective of gaining somebody's approval, the consequence will be fear. Do not say that your confidence becomes low. You need confidence, only when you are afraid. 

Fearlessness helps, confidence does not help.Confidence is like a pill that you are trying to take when you are already sick. Avoid sickness. 

The pill cannot be your food, the substance of your life. I am giving you a mantra: whenever you feel scared, trembling and even hopeful in the presence of the other, and that 'other' could be a person, a thing, a situation or whatever, the 'other' is the world, whenever you feel all these, just remind yourself that I am being dependent, otherwise I could not have felt this fear. 

All fear arises from dependence. If you are not dependent, you cannot be afraid. Whenever you will be dependent, you will always be afraid. It is impossible to be dependent and simultaneously fearless. Are you getting it? In some way you are surely dependent on the world, otherwise you cannot be afraid of the world. 

prashantadvait.com

Q&A:

http://www.answers.com/Q/When_a_teenager_decides_that_he_does_not_want_to_give_into_peer_pressure_is_this_cognitive_or_psychosocial_development

Why marriage counseling has 80 percent failure when saving couples marriage?

Because there is no love. 

To understand 'Love', we need to firstly get rid of all the 'knowledge' we have so far had about love. 

We have been told that care, attachment, concern, togetherness, sameness, sacrifice etc. are what constitutes love. We have also been told that love is what happens 'between' two human beings, or 'between' a human being and something else. We have also been told that love is usually to be found in 'relationships' like mother-daughter, husband-wife etc. We have been told that when you are in love you miss your beloved. 

We have also been told that love is a nice-nice thing. All this is Wrong. False. Criminal. Love is not nice-nice. Love is Death. Utter death. 

Love can never be found in relationships. The day a relationship occurs, the possibility of love dies. A man can possibly be in love, but no husband can ever love his wife. A woman can be in love, but no mother can ever love her son. 

All this that you see in the name of love: care, concern, mamtaa , sacrifice - this is all false. Totally false. You have probably imagined that what we see in our 'decent' families is love. No, our families are totally devoid of love. Love can never occur in a family. 

Love does not require a beloved. When you are love, the whole existence is the Beloved.You can never miss the Beloved. You becomethe Beloved.Love is a wild flower. It grows in the fullness and deepness of dangerous jungles. It grows where the abundance of life is also the possibility of death. 

Love cannot be found in a decent gardenof a decent house maintained by a decent family.

Q&A:

http://www.answers.com/Q/Why_marriage_counseling_has_80_percent_failure_when_saving_couples_marriage

What type of personality is the most beneficial?

You want to know what is beneficial personality, that is a good personality isn't it? Why is good personality needed let's see it clearly. 

It is emphasized that one must have a good personality precisely because most people have a fake personality. Because ninety-nine percent people carry fake personalities, that is why there is so much need to continuously say, 'Let there be a good personality'. 

What is a good personality? A good personality is a 'real' personality. When personality comes from your essence, then it is a good personality. And that is the reason why most people do not have good personalities. What do most people have? fake ones. 

What is a fake personality? That which arises from the influence of a situation. That which has no understanding to it. That in which you are just being carried away by the current, by the social current, by the current of convention, by the current of ignorance. That is a fake personality. So, when it is being said that personality is fake, what is meant is that a fake personality is to be avoided. 

But that does not mean that all personalities will necessarily be fake. You can live a genuine life. Yes you can. It is possible. And that is a good personality. That personality may not be the same as what you have traditionally admired. Someone with a definite set of features, facial or bodily, someone with a particular kind of voice, someone with a particular kind of persona, way of dressing, way of carrying himself. 

That personality may not concur with the image that you have in mind, but nevertheless it will be a real personality. It will be real because it is coming from your essence, your individuality. 

Look at this: Personality is like the flower, or the fruit. There can be a rose plant, and you can come and put a plastic flower there. But there is another way also in which the plant can flower. It is when the flower arises from the roots of the plant, when the roots themselves are giving birth to the flower. The flower is the personality. If there is a rose plant, it has the capability to give birth to a genuine flower. Right? 

Personality is the expression of your potential. The potential is already there within you, when it is expressed, then it is called personality. 

Do not think that personality is about a certain way of behaving. No, that is not personality. What you really are, when that gets expressed, manifested, then that is personality. Have a real personality. Be a genuine man, a genuine woman. 

prashantadvait.com

Q&A:

http://www.answers.com/Q/What_type_of_personality_is_the_most_beneficial

Do you put the kinds of peer pressure in a pargraph?

FEAR 

All fear arises from dependence. If you are not dependent, you cannot be afraid. Whenever you will be dependent, you will always be afraid. It is impossible to be dependent and simultaneously fearless. Are you getting it? In some way you are surely dependent on the world, otherwise you cannot be afraid of the world.Dependence is slavery. Whenever you will communicate with the objective of gaining somebody's agreement, with the objective of gaining somebody's approval, the consequence will be fear. Do not say that your confidence becomes low. You need confidence, only when you are afraid. 

Whenever you feel scared, trembling and even hopeful in the presence of the other, and that 'other' could be a person, a thing, a situation or whatever, the 'other' is the world, whenever you feel all these, just remind yourself that I am being dependent, otherwise I could not have felt this fear. 

prashantadvait.com 

Q&A:

http://www.answers.com/Q/Do_you_put_the_kinds_of_peer_pressure_in_a_pargraph

What should you do if you meet a person you know and made extremely angry two years earlier in public what should you do ignore her let her notice you or go up to her?

With how many of us does this happen that the mind asks for repetition of the pleasant experiences of the past? How many of us have seen that the mind asks for repetition of the pleasant experiences? 

Almost everybody. How many of us have seen that the mind wants to avoid what has been unpleasant in the past? 

This is how the mind machine functions. See, it is same with almost everybody who was ever born and will be born. And not only in human beings, even in animals, in plants. In any entity that has any consciousness. You cannot help it. It is bound to happen. It is bound to happen and it is good that it must happen. 

The mind very well knows what to forget. Do you remember everything that you have done since the morning today? Can you recall every second? You have already forgotten. You have already forgotten. Mind will forget on its own. You do not allow the mind to forget. 

How do you not allow the mind to forget? By giving importance to that thing. The moment you take something seriously, it gets more deeply registered in the mind. Now it will not forget it. So don't ask, 'How to forget?' Ask, 'How not to take trivia seriously?' 

Our problem is that we take those things seriously that deserve to be pushed aside. We have no sense of that which is really important. So we remember all the rubbish. But what is really important, we forget that. We forget that because what is really important is actually not important to us. We do not value it.

Till the time you keep valuing something, it will hover at the head. It will keep buzzing in the mind. It is impossible that what is important will be forgotten. So find out what is really important. When you know what is really important, then everything else will just fall-off on its own. 

What is a relationship? Think of it. What is a relationship? We are saying that the action of intelligence is, in this moment. Right? In this moment, if you and I are in complete contact with each other, this is what is called 'relating'. Whereas, if you and I are bonded to each other because of some element of the past- I was born in your home, you are born in my neighbourhood- then that so-called relationship has no love, has no joy in it. 

Is your relationship because you can deeply relate to each other; whoever it is, your friends, father, sister, uncles, brothers, teachers, whosoever? Does relating to happen because the two of you are in touch with each other right now? Or are you holding an image of each other, which is carrying forward from the past? And you have been told that it is your responsibility to behave in such and such way, with such and such person, and this is what is called 'relationship'. 

The only true relating that is possible, is that of friendliness.

I am avoiding the terms 'relationship', 'friendship' etc. It has to be happening right now, not as a shadow of the past. No past upon the present. Are you getting it? Whom do I look at when I say I am looking at a relative? Who am I looking at? That individual, or the name of the relationship.

Q&A:

http://www.answers.com/Q/What_should_you_do_if_you_meet_a_person_you_know_and_made_extremely_angry_two_years_earlier_in_public_what_should_you_do_ignore_her_let_her_notice_you_or_go_up_to_her

How well do you communicate with others?

What is communication? You have an image of communication in your mind. 

Communication is not merely what you are thinking it to be. 

You see the thing is that 'communication' is such an abused word 

You think that it would be about wearing a bigger mask, pleasing people, impressing them and in the process strengthening the personality, re-enforcing the mask. As I am writing to you, should I try to impress you or should I try to deliver the truth to you. What do you want? 

When you talk of talking to others, it is essentially a relationship and in that relationship impressing the other person is violent. It is a violent relationship that I am talking to you with this at the back of mind that I must impress you. Then I am doing injustice to you. That's why those who understand, they don't talk of communication, they talk of communion because communication can often be violent.They talk of communion. 

Communion means a relationship of love, in which it does not matter greatly the words that you are using, what matters is from where are the words coming from. Are they coming from a clear mind ? Then it is communion. 

Communion is the highest form of communication 

prashantadvait.com 

Q&A:

http://www.answers.com/Q/How_well_do_you_communicate_with_others

What is mutuality relationship?

Relationship as we know till now is a mutual network where everybody is victimizing everybody else. But can there be something more meaningful? let's go into it 

What is a relationship? Think of it. What is a relationship? We are saying that the action of intelligence is, in this moment. Right? In this moment, if you and I are in complete contact with each other, this is what is called 'relating'. Whereas, if you and I are bonded to each other because of some element of the past- I was born in your home, you are born in my neighbourhood- then that so-called relationship has no love, has no joy in it. 

Is your relationship because you can deeply relate to each other; whoever it is, your friends, father, sister, uncles, brothers, teachers, whosoever? Does relating to happen because the two of you are in touch with each other right now? Or are you holding an image of each other, which is carrying forward from the past? And you have been told that it is your responsibility to behave in such and such way, with such and such person, and this is what is called 'relationship'. 'Be respectful towards your elders and parents', and this is what is called 'relationship'. Now, that cannot be love. That cannot be love. 

The only true relating that is possible, is that of friendliness. 

I am avoiding the terms 'relationship', 'friendship' etc. It has to be happening right now, not as a shadow of the past. No past upon the present. Are you getting it? Whom do I look at when I say I am looking at a relative? Who am I looking at? That individual, or the name of the relationship. 

When you say, 'I go home and I look at my father', are you really looking at that individual? Or are you looking at 'the father'? Be honest. You look at 'the father' with all the bundle of memory and everything. You fail to look at the individual. So, there can be no love, no connection, no real relating. Impossible! It is impossible! Are you getting it? 

Business is based on 'give and take'. Trade is based on 'give and take'. Relationships are based on 'love'. And love is giving. You don't expect a 'take' in love. This 'give and take' is violence, because if there is 'give and take', you always want more 'take' than 'give', as happens in business. Right? 

In love, you don't bother about taking. When there is a need to take, you just take. Have you observed that with your friends? If you have really been friendly with someone, you don't bother too much about asking. If there is something kept on his table, do you seek his permission? If you seek his permission, then it is some kind of a business arrangement. No, relationships are not based on 'give and take'. 

The basis of relating is attention, presence and love. It is not 'give and take'. 

prashantadvait.com

Q&A:

http://www.answers.com/Q/What_is_mutuality_relationship

How do you better the situation of being 'the trouble' in the family?

I think it's better to first work upon yourself rather than worrying much about what your family think's of you because the real trouble here is of the quality of your relationships.Then i am sure the situation will be better. 

Read this for more clearance: 

First and foremost, every human being is a mind. The quality of your being is the quality of your mind. All our relationships emanate from the mind. The quality of your relationships will be the same as the quality of your mind. The depth of one's love, the courage of one's truth, the flight of one's freedom, the simplicity of one's beauty- all these depend directly on the quality of one's mind. 

In a mind that is simple and innocent, the relationships will be direct and loving. 

In a mind corrupted by conditioning, fear and ignorance, the relationships will be tainted with greed, expectations and fear. 

Want to have loving relationships? Clean up your mind! 

Want to never feel small and unworthy? Clean up your mind! 

Also you have to be Bold and Courageous. 

When you see that there is something wrong with your relationship, don't sweep the fact under the carpet. Face it, confront it! Don't just say that these things keep happening, let's not give too much attention to them. No! Let the other person sit across the table. Have a direct conversation. the most important conversations are those that never happen. They are the ones that you deliberately avoid, and each one of us know which conversations we must not have, and we never have them because we know that the moment you open that topic, the relationship would crumble. 

If you start talking about it, there would be an explosion, the relationship would be torn apart. That is the strength of the relationship. So you just avoid talking about those things. We say, 'Let's just bypass it, let's talk about other things. Let's talk about things that are more agreeable. Let's not face the facts squarely.' But the more you do that, the more you are moving towards numbness, insensitivity, hell. Talk about the real issues. Don't talk about the weather, the sandwich and the pet dog. That is what we usually talk about with our loved ones. 'How is the weather? How is your stomach? What was your sugar level today?' Are these things to be talked of? Talk the real things! Don't deal in, 'How are you? I am nice', this kind of stuff. All this is rubbish. Whom are we fooling?

Q&A:

http://www.answers.com/Q/How_do_you_better_the_situation_of_being_'the_trouble'_in_the_family