Why do we fail?

Dear,

What does the mind always want? Success or Failure?

Success! Right? Running after success, do  we ever stop running? Have you ever come across someone who says that I  am finally successful now?

Do you understand the meaning of the  word,’finally’? Nothing after this, final, full stop! ‘I fully well and  finally know that I am successful and my chase stops here. After this no  more thoughts of getting this, or obtaining this.’ Have you ever come  across a person who says this?

So, you are continuously running after  success, without ever getting any final success. Right? Intermittently  you get the illusion of success, that is alright. You did something and  you felt successful in that, but it is never final. Is it ever final?  Sooner than later you discover, ‘Oh my god! Not sufficient. I want more,  I want more!’ And that ‘more’ never suffices. Right?

Are we then ever successful? We are  running after success, that is alright. But are we ever successful?  Remember if we are actually successful, then we will stop running after  success. Not getting it? Are we ever successful? We are never  successful. I know that it is hard to admit. But go and find a man who  is really successful. You will have a hard time. You won’t find such a  man who is really successful, who says, ‘Success is mine now, I am not  running after it anymore.’ You won’t find such a man.

So, we are never successful. Right? If we  are not successful. What is the word that we can apply to ourselves  then? Failure. Anybody who runs after success is condemning himself to  failure. The very chase for success is failure. The moment you start  chasing success, you have already failed. But our ignorance lies in not  realising that we have already failed. We remain hopeful. We say, ‘Yes I  have failed, but I still have motivation. I will still go and conquer  the mountains. I will go and pluck the stars from the heaven.’

Failures we already are, but we don’t  realise it, because realising this would hurt us very badly. No? Try  doing that. Try telling somebody that you are a failure. Try telling  the man in the mirror that you are a failure.
Go, look at the mirror, and try telling  that man or woman in the mirror that you are a failure, and see how it  feels. How does it feel?

Bad! Our  self-esteem takes a beating. Right? We start feeling low. ‘Oh! Am I so  unworthy? I am a failure? The ‘F’ word, the bad ‘F’ word, Failure.’  Failures we are, but we don’t admit it. Who admits that? Nobody admits  that.

What does it mean  to say that ‘real success lies in failure’? It means that the one who  comes to realize that he is a failure, stops running after success. And  once he stops running after the success, that means that now he is  successful.

Realization of failure is success, running after success is failure.

If someone tells you to chase success,  ask him, ‘When will the chase end? Because if I am actually successful,  then the chase should end.’ Ask him that when will the chase end.  ‘Alright I will chase success. As per your advice I will chase success  but also tell me when will it end. And how will I know that it has  ended? And can you show me somebody for whom the chase has ended?’ Just  ask this much.

Just ask this much and you will realize,  what is really happening. Admit that human effort cannot get it, cannot  get the real thing, admit that. Surrender to that fact. Surrender to the  fact that the real juice of living lies in peace, and you will not get  peace by chasing success. Admit that love makes life worthy, and you do  not get love by chasing success. Admit that unless you are seated in the  Truth, you will keep suffering. And you do not sit in the Truth by  chasing something else. Admit that whenever you will chase, you will  only go away from your essence, from your real home.

We all are anyway meant to live in our  real home. All chase only takes you away, away, away… Failure means, ‘I  am not chasing anymore. I have realized the stupidity of chasing. I am  admitting my failure. Whenever I tried to chase, that was stupidity. I  admit my failure.’ That is what failure means, that ‘I admit.’

And the moment you admit, you surrender,  you give up your ego, you give up the restless tendency. You are  successful, already successful. When you admit you discover that you  should not have gone after it, it was already yours. There was no need  to run. You are already home.

Is that clear?

RD

How can one manage time more effectively?

So, you don't want to waste your time. Right?

But, first ask yourself.

What do you waste? 

Do you waste time, or do you also waste resources? 

You also waste life and you waste everything that comes to you.
 
Somebody who is wasteful, would he waste only time or would he waste a lot of other things as well? 

So, is time the real issue or is it ‘me’ that I should to talk about? 
What should I talk about?

When you ask that how to utilize time, you have made a very arrogant assumption. Your assumption is- ‘Everything is alright with me, it is just this small aspect of time utilization that I falter in. Everything else is good’. 

It is like this that there is something wrong with my entire physical system, my blood, my very blood has a lot of impurities and because of this there are a lot of symptoms that are showing up in my body: my heart is under-pressure, my kidneys are not functioning well, my lever is enlarged, I keep feeling sleepy, I keep forgetting, my brain doesn’t function properly, the blood is impure, there are few pimples on my face. 

I go to the doctor and say, ‘Sir, my problem is that I have a few pimples on my face’. Now, am I wise when I say that the pimple is my problem? Is my problem only that I have pimples? What is my problem? My entire being is my problem. My very blood is my problem. Right? But what am I focusing on? Pimples ! Now the doctor can give you a cream that will remove the pimples. 

Will that solve your problem? This pimple gone, another pimple will come up. Right or Wrong? Have you not seen that happen? It clears from here and comes somewhere else or sometimes at the same spot.


We don’t even know that what the real issue is. 

It is not about time at all. Don’t ask that how to manage time. Don’t ask that how to utilize time. Ask yourself, ‘How do I manage myself’? Because it is the self that is wasting the time. It is the self that is wasting everything that is around it. There are thousand opportunities that come to you, life itself is a grand opportunity, but the self is squandering all the opportunities. Not only time, everything else as well. 

So, we will go to the more basic question, to the more useful question and that is how to manage the mind, because it is the mind that wastes time. 

We will forget time.  
Nobody can manage time. Time just flows, time cannot be managed. What can be managed? The Self. My own mind that needs to be managed. We will look at that.


You need to then ask yourself, ‘What does my mind find attractive?’ What does your mind do most of the time? There are twenty-four hours in the day for everybody. Ask yourself that where do these twenty-four hours go. Where does my mind spend these twenty-four hours in? 

When you will look at this, you will come across your values. 

You will come to know what is it that is preferred in life. Because whatever you prefer in life is where you spend your time. 

If you have told yourself that the biggest pleasure in life is sleeping, then don’t be surprised if you find that you sleep eleven hours a day. ‘Why do I sleep eleven hours a day? Because I have thoroughly convinced myself that sleeping is the highest happiness’. 


Similarly, if you have convinced yourself that roaming around here and there, is the biggest pleasure that is possible, then don’t be surprised if you spend four hours gossiping, because you have told that to your own mind. 

We are looking at the mind now. Right? 
We have kept time behind, we are looking at the mind. 
We said that we will find out how do we spend our time. 
And when we find that out, we immediately come upon our values. 
‘What have I told myself to be valuable?’ 
Whatever you have told yourself to be valuable, you will find that your time is going there.


Let me ask this to you- to how many of you this happens that you want to find time for doing something but unable to find time for it? 
With how many of you does this happen?

Please be assured that somewhere you are convinced that the thing for which you cannot find time, that thing is not important. 

It is embedded deep in your psyche that it is not important. 

So, howsoever much you try, you will still find no time. 

Had it been really been important, had you been careful enough to really examine and see its importance, time would have made itself available, because there are twenty-four hours in a day for everybody. 

How is it possible that somebody finds time and somebody does not find time? You are the one who is allotting time and you allot the time according to your values. It is a question of values.

What do you find valuable?

‘I find it deeply valuable that one must sit with the family and watch television’. So, don’t be surprised if three hours a day you are doing that. ‘My definition of valuable friendship is when I talk 3 hours a day to somebody on mobile phone’.

So, don’t be surprised if you talk three hours a day on mobile phone. You are spending time exactly according to your values, not even a second is spent otherwise. 

Be convinced, time does not slip away. 
Time strictly follows your values. 

So, if you say that I don’t know, time just flies away, then you are deceiving yourself.

No, time never flies away.

Every second of it is controlled by your mind. If you do not find time for studying, the conclusion is obvious that you do not find studying valuable. In your value system, you do not accord priority to studying, that is why you cannot give time to studying. In your value system, had studying been important, time would have presented itself. 


Is this becoming clear? 

It is not about time at all, it is about ‘my mind’, the values enshrined in it. Is this becoming clear?

when you will find what is really valuable in your life, then you will find time for it. 

Do you know what is really valuable? 
Have you ever given a thought to it? 
What is really valuable in life? 
What is really important?


In a general audience there are four or five responses. Somebody say money, somebody say happiness, somebody say time.  

But there are some who ask, how do I know what is really valuable. 

There are others who are already convinced about what is really valuable. 

If money is really valuable, what would you spend most of your time doing? Dreaming about money, and that is what you do. Dream, have money, without asking that who is it that is having money and how is that money benefiting him. 

It must be from some source that you have gathered this notion that money is the most important thing. 

Somebody said, ‘Happiness’. Yes, good ! What is happiness? Is happiness that which you experience on listening a joke? Is happiness that which you experience upon achieving a target? What is happiness? Why must happiness be different for different people? Why does happiness vary for the same man at different times? 

Today, something is happiness for you, ten years back your doll was the greatest happiness for you. What is the value of such happiness that keeps on changing? What is happiness? 

One has to find out. I am inviting you to this.


When I was your age, this was one question that was so important for me – what is valuable in life? 

I was very clear that I will not commit myself to any path till this question is answered. 

How can I just start doing something without knowing that it is really valuable?

I have these few years of my life with me and I have one life. How can I spend this life doing something of which I am not convinced? 

And at the end of it, what will happen? 

If I see that I have wasted my time in pursuit that has no value at all, is that not horrible? 

You are 70 years of age, you are dying, and you realize that I have spent my life doing something that had no value. Tell me. Won’t that be horrible? And 

I am telling you 99.99% of this world faces that horror daily. 

Your so-called grown ups, the so-called successful people, the so-called super achievers, they all are realizing this every second that they have wasted their life doing something which is not valuable at all.
 

Why are people quick to jump to conclusions? 

Why do you quickly commit yourself? 

Why can’t you investigate? 

Because, you have already been told what is valuable. 

What is valuable? 

A huge car is valuable. A huge mansion is valuable. A bank statement that has ten zeros behind it is very valuable. And all these things have been told to you by your so-called well wishers! They have already filled you up with what is valuable and you are chasing that without examining whether it is really valuable. 

How can I inquire what is valuable, when I have already been told what is valuable? The inquiry has been closed.


We have been told that there is no need to inquire. 

Getting married is valuable! 
Having two kids is valuable! 
Having a house is valuable! 
Being respected is valuable! 
And you will say, ‘Yes Sir, everybody says that. Are these not valuable? 

Why should I say no’. 

I am saying that go and find out. 

Why can’t you find out that whether these things are really valuable? When you will discover what is not valuable, then that which is really valuable will start showing up. It will silently start shining. 

But first you will have to reject all that which is rubbish but you are mistakenly thinking to be of value. Are you getting it? 

So many of you believe that fakeness is valuable. 

So many of you believe that living a structured life is so valuable. 

Are we not intelligent? 

Don’t we have our own eyes. 

Don’t we have our own mind to examine. 

Can’t we go close and see whether these things are really of any importance? Will we have just beliefs for some fake values?

If you just want to believe, then why are you studying science? Does science tell you to believe or does it tell you to go close and ask questions, examine and experiment? Tell me. 

You have been told that you must always look good, you must be praise-worthy, people should say nice things about you, you should be respected.

Do you understand that what is praise? 

Do you understand that what is respect? 

Then why you should feel bad when somebody does not respect you?

Without understanding something, why have you given it so much importance? Get married. Settle down, have a family. 

Do you understand that what is marriage? 

And if you don’t understand, why you are getting restless to get married?

Why do you feel devastated if you see somebody not getting married? 

Do you know that what is really important in life? 

And if you don’t know, then open your eyes and see. 

It is not a huge secret. It is an obvious fact if only you bother to inquire. 

You are intelligent, you have the capability. Just open your eyes and see. 

I assure you that all of you are capable of looking at the facts, are capable of being in the truth, if only you are not afraid, if only you have not closed your eyes believing that I already know everything.

---

UG

  

Writte

In general, how do you get out of your comfort zone?

There is no fear of the new. There is only the fear of leaving the old. 

The old is giving you comforts, and it is as basic as that. 

It is so obvious, direct and ground level, that no explanation can be given or needed. It is the grossest thing that is there. 

It has to be obvious.

The old has taken complete control over you. You are the old. There is no part of your mind or body, that is not related to what you have been doing so far.

The old is your food, very food. It is every cell of your body. How can you leave your food? Do you see that it is as basic as that? It is the fear of leaving the food, because the old is feeding you. 


The body is a self-preserving mechanism. 

It will not allow you to do things where even your physical sustenance gets threatened. 

It is not at all about some deeply-logged dungeon of your mind. It is not at all about some subconscious tendency. It is the body. 

“What will happen to this body? Where will I live? What will I eat?” That is it.

The mind only gives rationalizations. It will not admit that it is the body. It will say, “It is this, it is that.” It will say, “Well, it is about security.” What security? It will say, “It is about relationships.” Really? Where are the relationships? “It is about name and fame.” Really? Do you really carry any name and fame?

The one who can go without food, can never be enslaved. Because that is your final fear: the physical elimination. Learn to go without food and then tell me whether the world can dominate you.

The one who can sleep on the streets under the open sky, can never be enslaved. Because that is the temptation given to you. “We will give you a cosy bed.” And then you become a bed warmer.

Refuse the bed, have the guts to sleep in the fields.

---

UG

  

What does depression feel like?

Lows are lows. The problem arises when the highs are also lows. Then all that you get is only lows. In a sine curve you ought to have lows and highs. Now lows are lows, but it becomes tragic when the highs are also lows. What is sad and depressing is indeed sad and depressing, but what was supposed to be exciting and wonderful, that too turns out to be sad and depressing. Then it is a betrayal of hope. Then it is indeed twice depressing.

This is what happens when we make a bad deal. And the mind, though it thinks itself to be a very clever businessman, always makes bad deals. The mind is a trader. It gives away something and it wants something in return. Kindly see what it gives away, and what it wants. It gives its Essence away, it gives freedom away, it gives love away, it gives simplicity and sincerity away. And what does it want in return? It wants acceptance, it wants pleasure. But it gets defeated on both counts. How?

What you are attempting to give away, is something that cannot be given away. It cannot be traded. It is your Essence. How will you trade it? It cannot be traded. So you say, “I am prepared to give up my freedom. I willingly want to be a slave.” But you just cannot give away your freedom, howsoever hard you try. Could you give away your freedom, you would not have felt any sadness in being a slave.

But when you are a slave, you feel great sadness precisely because you are still free, because your nature is freedom. So when you wear artificial slavery on the outside, it doesn’t quite fit nicely. Inside you are something else, inside you are always free, and outside you are artificially wearing slavery. Now there can’t be an adjustment between the outside and the inside. There is no harmony between how you are acting, and what you are. There is a dissonance, and this dissonance is suffering.

So on one hand you have lost, in terms of what you wanted to give away. You wanted to give it away, but you couldn’t give it away. You wanted to give away your freedom, you could not give away your freedom. You wanted to give away your essence, your simplicity, your sincerity, you could not give them away. So, you have lost. Your intentions have been defeated. Your deal got bad.

On the other hand, in a different way too, you have lost. How? By giving up your freedom, you wanted to gain pleasure and happiness. You thought that this pleasure will give you something, this pleasure will give you satisfaction, but you don’t get that also. You get only a semblance of satisfaction, a very fleeting semblance. And it doesn’t last long. The proof is: you want to move on. You now want something else. What seemed once very satisfying now doesn’t seem satisfying at all. Your search doesn’t stop. You are now desperate for the next thing. 

See how you have lost on both accounts. What you wanted to give away, could not be given away. What you wanted to attain, it could not be attained. It turns out to be such a bad deal. And the mind is such a poor trader.

When you are losing on both counts, when you are being defeated on both sides, is it any wonder that you feel depressed? Ours is the situation of a man who trades everything away, and gets nothing in return. Double depression, double debit. And this will be the punishment to all those who try to trade away the essentials of life.

Do you know how we trade them away? By setting up wrong priorities. What is a priority? A priority is a trade-off. A priority is a deal. When you say, “This is my priority,” what you say is, “I will do this at the expense of something else,” because the list of priorities is always there. When you say that something is number one in your priority, what you are saying is, “I will get this thing. And I am prepared to leave number two, three, four and five.” That is what ‘priority’ means -a trade, a deal.

Now for the mind the list always comprises of things that will give it a false sense of security, pleasure, acceptance and all that. The Essential is way down in the priority list.

If you speak to the so-called common man, and ask him to list the priorities in his life - just circulate a form and ask people to list their priorities in life - you will probably not find words like ‘freedom’, ‘truth’ etc. at all. People will write: money, car, status, job, career, this and that. You will not find words like ‘Truth’ at all.

What does the mind say? Mind says, “Truth is my fifty-second priority.” So when it is the fifty-second priority, it can be easily and cheaply traded away, right? It is not important. The mind wants to trade it away. Without realizing that Truth must be the number one priority, we very easily dispense it away. We very easily give it, and in return expect something else. 

"Let me be called respectable, acceptable. " 

"Let me give up friendship, and gain a network."

Now you don’t even know that you are making such a poor deal. 

“Let me give up Love, and gain security. Let me give up Truth, and gain respectability.”

You will be beaten at both ends. Truth – you won’t be able to give up. So it will keep calling you and disturbing you. It is very obstinate. It’s like a pestering wound – Truth. It doesn’t let you sleep. You think you have given it away: “I have traded it away.” It’s like trading away your soul - you trade it away, yet it doesn’t go. It calls you in your dreams. You can’t sleep. You think you have given it away, but it won’t let you sleep.

So what you have given away, doesn’t go away. And what you think you have obtained, is anyway worthless. Now what will you get? Depression. 

Depression means – the height is unknown to you. The only height is the core, the essence, the Self. 
The one who does not know the Self, will always be in depression. That is the definition of depression.

---

UG

  

Writt

My mind is always wavering. How can I get concentration?

Dear,

Mind doesn't waiver. It goes to the direction it is programmed to go to. Before we proceed to find out about concentration, I would, to help, introduce a term Attention.

Attention is a quality of the mind. Attention is the deep desire of the mind to understand. Understanding means settling down, becoming quiet.
Attention arises when the mind says that the ripples created by objects in mind must settle down. These objects could be:

1. a TV program
2. two people and their chatter
3. the disquiet of the mind itself

However, remember that there is a difference between attention and concentration. In attention, there is no specific object. Attention is the quality of the mind in which it is alert to everything, including itself. Hence, whatever is in its purview its its object. Alternately, there is no (specific) object. Alternately, the mind itself is its own object.

In concentration, there is a process of ego-based choice involved. Concentration is fragmentary. Concentration is upon a specific object that the ego has chosen for its benefit. Concentration does not give understanding, it only gives pleasure and satisfaction.

I have elaborated on this theme in my blog - 'Words into Silence'

I would advise you to further read from the blog on focus, concentration, attention and understanding. I am sure it would be of help.

Do let me know.

AA

  

Which people became successful despite criticism?

Dear,

Running after success, do we ever stop running?

Have you ever come across someone who says that I am finally successful now? Do you understand the meaning of the word ’finally’? Nothing after this, final, full stop! ‘I fully well and finally know that I am successful and my chase stops here - after this no more thoughts of getting this, or obtaining this.’ Have you ever come across a person who says this?

So, you are continuously running after success, without ever getting any final success. Intermittently you get the illusion of success that is alright. You did something and you felt successful in that, but it is never final. Is it ever final? Sooner than later you discover, ‘Oh my god! Not sufficient. I want more, I want more!’ And that ‘more’ never suffices.

Are we then ever successful? We are running after success, that is alright. But are we ever successful? Remember if we are actually successful, then we will stop running after success.

Are we ever successful?
We are never successful. I know that it is hard to admit.

Failures we already are, but we don’t realize it, because realizing this would hurt us very badly. Try this. Go, look at the mirror, and try telling that man or woman in the mirror that you are a failure, and see how it feels. How does it feel?

Failure means, ‘I am not chasing anymore. I have realized the stupidity of chasing. I am admitting my failure. Whenever I tried to chase, that was stupidity. I admit my failure.’ That is what failure means that ‘I admit.’
Realization of failure is success, running after success is failure.
 
Dream Success vs Real Success:
1.

Dream: The thought of success born out of a feeling of current failure.
Real: No thought; just a realization of current fulfillment.
2.
Dream: An aspiration of the future.
Real :A contentment in the present.
3.
Dream: Chasing  A>B>C>D>E…
The objects change the chase never ends.
Real : No chase is to be taken seriously.
4.
Dream: Validation required from others.
Real : Innate, no validation required.
5.
Dream: Continuous struggle and tension.
Real : Relaxation.
6.
Dream: Work and effort with tiredness.
Real : Work with playful energy.
7.
Dream: Result dependent.
Real : Result independent.

I have elaborated more on this theme in my blog - 'Words into Silence'

I would advise you to further read from the blog on focus, concentration, attention and understanding. I am sure it would be of help.

Do let me know

How do you find your passion or your calling?

Dear,

I have elaborated a lot on this topic in my blog "Words into Silence". I am sure this question is relevant to  many others if not everybody. First of all this question has to be asked  on a clean slate. Those of us who have already believed some external  passion to be the real passion, they are not eligible to ask this  question. Are you getting this? When you ask this question you are  standing at a point where you do not know your real passion. Right? You  are confused. You have come to know that whatever is known to you can be  doubted. What to do with those who live in a deep belief that they  already know their passion, or a belief that knowing that passion is not  important at all?

If today you are given a question that  mentions your hobbies, interest or passion. I am using all these three  in the same way right now, but they are not. If you were given this  question to mention all these three things, all of you will give some  answer without realizing the falseness of that passion, without  realizing that this passion has nothing to do with me. Even my passions  have been handed over to me by somebody else.

Look at the CVs of people aspiring for jobs. They all have a section in their CVs named  ‘Hobbies and Interests’. What do they write in that section? Playing  cricket and listening to Hindi movie songs. And they deeply believe in  that. Don’t you see that if you are born in India, you would write  cricket, and if you are born in Brazil, you would write football? Even  your passions come from outside. Is there anything in life which is  yours, fundamentally yours, which you found out to be yours? Your  passion is borrowed, your love is borrowed, and so you are confused.

How to know what to do? There is no one  answer to it and it cannot be predicted and it cannot be constant. When  you say, ‘passion’, I will substitute this word with ‘Intelligent  choice’. How to find out that I am passionate about? I will rephrase it  and say that how to find out what is an intelligent choice? How to  choose intelligently? The intelligent choice happens in the  understanding of this moment, and the intelligent choice is not a dead  choice. Not dead in the sense that it is capable of changing,  day-to-day, moment-to-moment.

Today you are capable to choose out of  intelligence, it will surely come from your intelligence. You will  surely be very passionate about this. Isn’t it obvious? But there is no  guarantee that tomorrow the passion will be the same, very same. You are  asking a definite answer assuming that there will be a definite  passion. Life is not a monochrome. There are a thousand colors in it,  moment-to-moment. Do not restrict yourself to any one thing. Get rid of  this concept that there is one passion and I must pursue it all my life.  Do today, what is right. Do tomorrow, what is right. Do today what is  right for today. Do tomorrow what is right for tomorrow and then you  will be acting passionately today and you will be acting passionately  tomorrow.

If tomorrow you do what is right for  today, can you be passionate about it? What is right for today, will you  be able to be passionate about it tomorrow? You will force passion, and  that will be a dead passion. There will be no energy, no vitality in  it. Are you getting this? So, forget about time, forget about long-term,  medium-term, short-term. Just do what is right, right now and give it  everything you have.

You are listening, listen passionately.  You are playing in the evening, play passionately. Passion is moment to  moment. It is a constant thing. Let it change. It must change. You say  that you are passionate about playing the guitar. Will you play guitar  twenty-four hours a day? You will play guitar for one hour, two hours,  four hours. And how many hours are there in the day? Twenty-four hours.

What about the  remaining nineteen hours? Do you want to say that you are only  passionate about your guitar, with everything else you cannot bring the  passion? NO! Passion cannot be object-specific. Passion cannot be  activity-specific. Passion is a way of life. When I know that what I am  doing is right, my own, then I am passionate about it. I am passionate  about this moment, that moment. The activity will keep on changing. The  activity will keep changing from moment-to-moment, but the passion will  remain intact because you could not be possibly doing the same thing  twenty-four hours or seven days of the week.

The activity will keep changing. The  passion will be a continuous flow. Does it not tempt you? Then life will  be wonderful. Boredom will evaporate. No dull faces, no drooping  shoulders, no sitting in the class on the back benches, no cursing the  world, no thirst for entertainment. You are thirsty for entertainment  because you are deeply bored.

Won’t it be wonderful? Passionate always!  Not towards one particular activity, not towards one particular person,  not on one particular day. Always! Let the activity keep changing, let  the person keep changing. Whatever I am doing, I am into it. And what am  I doing? An intelligent choice. Whatever I am doing is coming out of my  intelligence and hence there is a natural energy behind it. How to  discover your passion? Be passionate about everything. There is no one  single passion. If you are passionate right now, it will be easier for  you to move into the next moment with passion.

Life is right now. Life is not divided, not fragmented.

RD

There are times in life when you seriously are confused about what lies ahead in your professional life or academic life. How do you find your singularity of passion when you don't really have one?

Usually in life when you are stuck between two or three choices, you will find most of the times that none of the choices are really good for you. 

So, my question will be that why I am unable to choose between A, B and C. Life says that whenever you are unable to choose between A, B and C; had any of these three been really what your life is looking for, then you would not have been confused. 

Confusion itself is an indication that these, all three, all five, all eight, are sub-optimal choices.


Do you understand what is meant by sub-optimal choices? 

A sub-optimal choice is that which is not really reaching the maxima. It’s a compromise. 

First of all, let’s understand what work is because all three questions that you have asked relate to work. 

Right? 

What is work?

What is your age today? 21 or 22? 

You would be working for minimum thirty to forty years. Your total work-life duration will be at least thirty to forty years. 

Do you see that? 

That means, particularly till the end of your life except for the last ten years of your life, you would be working. 

How many hours a day do you sleep? 
Six hours to eight hours. Right? 

One or two hours for your other regular physical activities; eating, washing and such other activities. 

You are left with around fourteen hours. Out of which, how much time do you think one spends working? 

How much time do you think you spend on working? From one end to another end? End to end means, starting from your home, going to the workplace and coming back to your home. So, how much time do you think you spend working? If you are in NCR, it would be a minimum of twelve hours or it could go to sixteen hours. Because one hour of commuting time either way is the standard. So, two hours you are anyway spending just in commuting. 

A typical office day stretches to minimum of ten hours, twelve hours is the minimum, it could be fifteen hours, and it could be sixteen hours. So, taking away the sleeping time, you are left with around fifteen hours or so in the day, of which twelve to fifteen hours you are spending in work. 

Remove the sleeping part, how much of your total waking life you spend on working?

What percentage of your total waking life are you spending on working? Eighty percent! You remove the holidays and the other leaves you take, and yet you will be left with seventy or seventy-five percent. You will be spending three- fourths of your waking life, working.


Understand the significance of ‘work’!
You will be spending three-fourth of your waking life working, which is practically your entire life. So, what is work? Work is life itself! Now somebody who does not make a wise decision with respect to work, is he loosing out merely on work or loosing out on life itself?

Life itself!

He has not only spoiled his career but he has actually spoiled his Life!


Remember, I am not yet talking of ambition and money. I am just talking of the time you give to work. I have not yet talked of money. I have not yet talked of how high you rise in the corporate hierarchy and such things. No, that’s not my concern. 

My concern is that an adult being works, he acts and this action is life. If he does not know the direction of his work, if he does not know where to place his work, then he is condemning himself to hell. He is saying that let my life be hell. Because all the day you are working and if work is something that you do not like, if that work is something that your heart does not agree to, then you will suffer and suffer badly. 

And, that’s what is happening with millions and millions of people around us. 

Under the influence of various forces, people choose careers, work streams, that are intrinsically unsuitable to them. And then, because of inertia, because of fear they find that they can’t even get out of the rut they have put themselves in. The result, they make a wrong choice and then they have to stay with the wrong choice. 

First of all you make a wrong choice and then you stay with the wrong choice because you dare not do anything else.

Have you heard the story of the crying woman inside the train? 

So, there was this woman who was sitting in a long distance train and her co-passenger who did not know her, was sitting in front of her. Two strangers sitting in front of each other. So, the train left the station and after a while the co-passenger sees that the woman is tensed. 

He notices that people are tensed, nothing big about it. A few hours and he sees that she is actually worried, her forehead is freckled and she is showing physical signs of distress. She is fidgeting, she is looking here and there. He becomes a little concerned, but he thinks that she may be tensed because she is leaving a few people back. 

There is something in the personal life which is keeping her nervous. The day passes and the night comes. And when the night comes he finds that she is actually shedding the tears. Her eyes are moist. 

So he gathers courage and asks her that what is wrong. She doesn’t reply. He doesn’t press for the answer because one can’t press strangers for the answers. He goes off to sleep. It’s a long distance train. When he wakes up in the morning he finds that she is actually sobbing. Streams of tears are flowing down her eyes. 

He again asked her that if is there something wrong. ‘Is there someway I can help?’ She says nothing. So he keeps to himself. By the time the evening comes, it’s a long distance train as is being said, by the time evening comes the woman has gone mad with the grief. She is hitting against the wall. She is actually crying out. 

Somehow this is too much for the man. He catches hold of her and said, ‘Please tell me what’s wrong? You are getting hysterical for what reason?’ She says, ‘Since yesterday I am sitting in the wrong train. And every passing station reminds me that I am sitting in the wrong train. That is why as the train is moving along, I am getting more and more depressed.’


That is the story of the most of working professionals. 

First you get into the wrong train, then at every station you have an opportunity to get down. Getting it! 

Life gives you so much opportunity. It’s a long distance train, it stops at many places. You could have de-boarded it anytime. But then you don’t have the guts to get down either. 

First of all you are getting into the wrong train, and now you are in the wrong train you keep on going along.


As you go along, your suffering keeps increasing and increasing. First of all out of ignorance or out of fear, pressure or other kinds of influences, you choose the wrong direction of life. And then you find that you do not have the courage to change the direction. 

Don’t let that happen. How is it possible that if there are millions of individuals in a country, all their career choices are limited to three or four profession?


If you are really unique and you are actually individuals then your career choices will show that. Its more or less a herd mentality, that everybody wants to go in the same direction. 

How can the same kind of choice be the right choice for every body, if you are really unique? It is obvious that our choices are not our choices. It is very obvious that our choices are not our choices. They are coming from our environment. 

But who has to live your life? You or the environment? Who will live your life? Would you live your life or those people would live your life which are giving you these choices? Yes!

Yes, YOU would live your life. If you are going to live your life, then you must find out that which really calls you. 

Do you understand the difference between work and calling? Working is one thing and realizing your calling is another thing. 

‘Calling’ is a word that is used to describe the work that really beckons you. It is that which if not done will never leave you satisfied. Most of us never respond to our calling. 

Most of us even do not know what this ‘calling’ is. It keeps beckoning you. It keeps giving you signals. If you are insensitive, you will not catch those signals.

If you are afraid, then you don’t have space to listen to that little voice. 

Ask yourself what is it that I can do even without being paid. 

Can you ask this question to yourself?

What is this that I can do even without being paid? And if you find something that you can do, and nobody pays money for you, then that is your calling. 

Find out something that you want to do even if you have to pay money for it. Instead of getting a salary or compensation even if you have to pay the money to do that, you will still do that. That is your calling. Are you getting it?


There is a character of Howard Roark, the architect in Any Rand’s ‘The Fountainhead’. “Architecture is his calling”. He has not taken admission in the architecture college because his papa had told him to. Architecture is his life force. He designs a particular building and he says that I design it because I am in love with it. The client says, ‘No you change the design. If your design is constructed, it will cost me these many dollars extra.’ 


Roark says, ‘You deduct these many dollars from my fees but I will not change the design’. When that start happening then you know that this my calling. ‘If you want you can hold my entire fee, pay me anything but I will not change my design. I love this design.’

Is there anything of this nature in your life? And if there is, then it is beautiful. And if there is not, then you better find out. Have you heard of Richard Brandson? The founder of the Virgin Brand. Virgin Atlantic, Virgin Records etc these things.

Once he was asked about what one should do in his life. He said that if you want to fly kites, fly kites. Then give your everything to flying kites. The question was about entrepreneurship. He said that if your heart is in the flying kites, then do keep flying kites. You will be able to make money about it. One does not need too much for the livelihood and that much is available. But then don’t remain confused. 

Once you find out that you love to fly kites, then just fly kites. Become a master in flying kites. And whenever you have mastery in something, life is with you. Unknown forces come to help you. And you benefit in both ways. One, you are doing what you love to do and second, you are getting help from the unpredictable quarters.


Won’t it be wonderful that you have been paid for doing something that you anyway enjoying doing? Is that not all that what you call heaven? What am I doing? I just do what I enjoy doing and also getting some money for it. Isn’t that beautiful? I am opening the possibility to you. Would that not be beautiful? 


But that will not open up to you if you keep thinking that life is all about moving in a particular well-laid, well-determined directions. If you say that there are only one, or two, or ten ways of earning livelihood that the society has approved of and I will follow only those ways then there is no hope for you.


If you are really unique, then you must have your unique inclinations. Have you tried to nurture them? These unique inclinations could be anything. Somebody just might like watering plants, somebody may just enjoy reading comic books and it could be just anything. You are privileged that you are living in an age where the economy is more open than it was at any other point where you have the tremendous power of the internet, where the world is economically more prosperous than it ever was. 

Your country is growing at the heavy rate of growth. Why must you compromise? Remember, we said right in the beginning that if we are compromising with work, we are compromising with life.


Many of us think that let me do anything, at the end of the month I will get the paycheck. I will do anything and ultimately, I will get the paycheck at the end of the month. Let me just do anything, I will ultimately get the paycheck at the end of the month. That is what matters. But tell me that you may get paid on one particular day in the month, but how many days there are in the month?

Thirty days.

On how many days will you receive the cheque?

One. 

How many days are left? 

Twenty- nine.


What will you do in those twenty-nine days? Will you just keep waiting for the cheque? Or will you sleep on those twenty-nine days and wake up on the thirtieth day? You have to live through the entire month. 

How will you live? 

How will you get out of your house everyday to go to work? 

How will you do that? 

How will you spend every hour, every second? 

How can you be causal about livelihood, work and calling? 

How can you allow others to dictate you in terms of this regard? 

Don’t forget the woman who boarded the wrong train. 
And it’s not difficult. It’s not difficult. You just need to have little faith.


Life is not a place where you can find one common road. 

Find out your individual road. You all must create your individual path. 

There are no pre-determined paths. But the mind wants to move on all the paths that have already been used t o make use of other’s experiences, to do what everybody else is doing. But if you will do that, then do not forget that you have only one life. 

Anybody here who has come with the inventory of life? ‘You know I have forty lives. It doesn’t matter, let me waste one life. Let me gain experience in three or four lives and then after that I will do something enjoyable.’

You have just one life. As far as you are concerned there is only one life. One single precious life. Ask yourself that what am I doing with it. The entire world is open to you. I repeat you are lucky to be born in the time of opportunities. 

Don’t waste what time has given you. 

Don’t waste what coincidence has given you. If you love cooking, then you must be in cooking. If you love to run, then run. Let nobody tell you how can an engineer go and become a chef. Let nobody tell you that. 

Today you have people from IITs and IIMs running real estate firms, who are running laundry services.

If you have gained an education, it should liberate you. It should not enslave you. We find our education enslaving us. 

We start saying that after getting a big degree, how do I do any small task. I am asking you, ‘Why can’t you run a very well-organised, juice shop? I ensure you that you will earn more there than you will earn in your run-of-the-mill job. 

Then that one juice shop can become a chain. What are these brands, Starbucks, Cafe Coffee Day? They are nothing but Chaaye waalas and Coffee waalas. Right? The Chaaye waala and Coffee waala are now a multinational company. 

Why can’t you start with your own juice shop? What prevents you?


Rotten belief. A false sense of respectability. That what holds us back. 


‘Will I run a juice shop after studying so much? 

Your study has become your handicap. 

Will I run a small dhaba? 

Have I studied mechanical engineering just to make these small spare parts? 

Yes I love soccer but now I am an electronics engineer. 

How can I become a soccer coach in a school? 

I am a computer engineer, how can I go and start teaching the kids of three, four years in a school. 

How can I open a small school in a village? 

I am a computer engineer. Even though you know that you love to teach, you love to be with the kids, even though you realize that your village is in need of school, still you will not do that. You will not do that. Many of us come from villages and small town. 

Don’t we? 

Many of us know what is needed at our place. There is a tremendous opportunity there. But we won’t do that. Why we won’t do that? 


I am asking you. Why not? Why must you inspire to be in Bangalore, Gurgaon and California? Why not about your native place? So, Sonu, it’s not a question of option of A, B and C. There is D, there is E, there is F; right up to Z. And it doesn’t stop there.


As all of you are individuals, you must find your individual calling. That is the only way of living. Everything else is hell.