How to overcome extreme social phobia?

Dear, 

What is confidence? On a normal day at home, do you require confidence to speak to your parents, to other family members? Before you speak to them, do you gather courage, do you gather confidence and then go there? No, you don’t. So, you don’t require confidence at home. You must be having some friends? When you are speaking to your friends, do you require confidence? No. But you surely require confidence when you are speaking to an interviewer. Then you say, ‘I require confidence’. Correct? 

Try to understand this. Why do you require confidence in an interview room, and why do you not require confidence at home? You require confidence when you are afraid. The one who is not afraid, does not require confidence. 

Right now, as I am sitting in front of you, this thought of ‘confidence’ has not crossed my mind even once. In fact, you may say that I am not at all confident right now, because one needs confidence only when one is afraid. So, the more you appear confident, the more afraid you are. Do not ask for confidence, ask for simplicity. Getting it? Simplicity, not confidence. 

Simplicity is: ‘I am what I am’. What is confidence? An indication of fear. And over-confidence is an indication of more fear. The way your thinking is, confidence and aggression are not two different things. 

You remain as you are, then you would not need any confidence. As you are sitting here, you do not need any confidence. But if I ask you to come to stage and speak in front of an audience, then you would require confidence. Why would this happen? 

Because you are afraid. 

What is the essential difference between both the situations? The process of speaking is happening in a vacant room and also in the room filled with the audience. But in second situation, ‘others’ are present. You are afraid of these ‘others’. And you require confidence only to deal with the ‘others’. 

So, what is better, to ask for confidence, or to get rid of the fear? 

To get rid of the fear. 

Do not ask for confidence. Remain simple! Do not try to become something. Just remain as you are. Simple, ordinary! Do not try to become something, then everything will be alright. You will feel light. You will get rid of a lot of burden. 

For more clarity I invite you to visit: http://prashantadvait.com/2015/01/13/con...

Q&A: https://in.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20150623231153AA4LWeP