Dear,
Look at your question deeply. What you are asking is you always need to have confidence to face others, which directly means that you are always fearful. Do not ask for confidence, just ask for freedom from fear. How do I get rid of this fear? You see, we are born confident. Do you know that when you were a small child, you were so confident? Ever seen a kid; six months, one year, two-year old? Look at the level of confidence he has. That kid hardly ever has any doubts. If the kid wants to slap you, he will slap you; immensely full of confidence. There is no guilt, no complex in the kid. You may be wearing the best of the clothes, finest quality of suit, just acquired from the market, if the kid thinks that your suit is better suited to be his diaper, he will use your suit as a diaper. With no remorse, it will use your suit, color it. Yellow and black and whatever and then laugh at your face.(Laughs) Ha! Ha! It won’t even bother to say sorry to you. Right? Nobody is ever born with fear. None of us were born afraid. Today we are afraid. Is that not so?
We were alright but then something happened which made us forget that we are alright, which made us feel that we lack something, which made us feel that we are short of confidence. What happened to all of us? We are saying that a child is born alright and then something happens to him which makes him feel inadequate, which makes him feel unworthy, which makes him feel inferior or superior, which makes him feel that he needs to become something else. What is it that happens?
What happens to the child, which makes him forget his essential nature? —->People become judgmental. They tell us what is wrong and what is right.
‘If you do not do well in your class tenth exams, there would be a great problem.’ And the teacher is well-meaning it. ‘If you do not study, you will fail.’ The teacher does not say that if you do not study then you will not enjoy the subject. There is a great difference between these two statements. Statement 1- If you do not study, you will fail. Statement 2- Study so that you may enjoy the subject. In the second statement, there is no fear. In the second statement, there is an invitation to joy. Study and there is joy in it. But what does the teacher say? ‘Study, otherwise you will fail.’ Do you see how fear is given to us by education? Do you see how fear is given to us by the family, by all these movies that you see, by the literature that you read? All these factors keep coming into your mind. And then when we are afraid, we ask for confidence.
Fear is a thought given to you by somebody else. You have that right whether to take that thought or whether to drop that thought. You have that power. Exercise that power. ‘If I do not want to be afraid, nobody can make me afraid.’ You have allowed that person to make you afraid. Do not allow him. Nobody can terrify you without your permission. Do not give them that permission. And then you will never be afraid.
To understand confidence, go through these links:
http://prashantadvait.com/2014/03/19/you-do-not-need-confidence/
http://prashantadvait.com/?s=confidence
Q&A:
http://www.querynanswer.com/question/how-to-gain-confidence-in-front-of-others/
Look at your question deeply. What you are asking is you always need to have confidence to face others, which directly means that you are always fearful. Do not ask for confidence, just ask for freedom from fear. How do I get rid of this fear? You see, we are born confident. Do you know that when you were a small child, you were so confident? Ever seen a kid; six months, one year, two-year old? Look at the level of confidence he has. That kid hardly ever has any doubts. If the kid wants to slap you, he will slap you; immensely full of confidence. There is no guilt, no complex in the kid. You may be wearing the best of the clothes, finest quality of suit, just acquired from the market, if the kid thinks that your suit is better suited to be his diaper, he will use your suit as a diaper. With no remorse, it will use your suit, color it. Yellow and black and whatever and then laugh at your face.(Laughs) Ha! Ha! It won’t even bother to say sorry to you. Right? Nobody is ever born with fear. None of us were born afraid. Today we are afraid. Is that not so?
We were alright but then something happened which made us forget that we are alright, which made us feel that we lack something, which made us feel that we are short of confidence. What happened to all of us? We are saying that a child is born alright and then something happens to him which makes him feel inadequate, which makes him feel unworthy, which makes him feel inferior or superior, which makes him feel that he needs to become something else. What is it that happens?
What happens to the child, which makes him forget his essential nature? —->People become judgmental. They tell us what is wrong and what is right.
‘If you do not do well in your class tenth exams, there would be a great problem.’ And the teacher is well-meaning it. ‘If you do not study, you will fail.’ The teacher does not say that if you do not study then you will not enjoy the subject. There is a great difference between these two statements. Statement 1- If you do not study, you will fail. Statement 2- Study so that you may enjoy the subject. In the second statement, there is no fear. In the second statement, there is an invitation to joy. Study and there is joy in it. But what does the teacher say? ‘Study, otherwise you will fail.’ Do you see how fear is given to us by education? Do you see how fear is given to us by the family, by all these movies that you see, by the literature that you read? All these factors keep coming into your mind. And then when we are afraid, we ask for confidence.
Fear is a thought given to you by somebody else. You have that right whether to take that thought or whether to drop that thought. You have that power. Exercise that power. ‘If I do not want to be afraid, nobody can make me afraid.’ You have allowed that person to make you afraid. Do not allow him. Nobody can terrify you without your permission. Do not give them that permission. And then you will never be afraid.
To understand confidence, go through these links:
http://prashantadvait.com/2014/03/19/you-do-not-need-confidence/
http://prashantadvait.com/?s=confidence
Q&A:
http://www.querynanswer.com/question/how-to-gain-confidence-in-front-of-others/
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