For better understanding, lets look at your question in two different parts:
Friends and Confidence.
Friends:
What is friendship? What do you mean by friendship? You are lonely and you get somebody to cling to, and then the two of you hang out together, and you call this as ‘friendship’.
We say, ‘A friend in need is a friend indeed’, it means that friendship is a trade. I need to copy assignments and you are always there, then we are friends. In all my rubbish, the one who can partner me, he is my friend.’
In a lucky moment, aloneness happens to you and you are just sitting still with yourself, fully contented, not excited, not sad, but completely with yourself. You are sitting still, and the other fellow comes and says, ‘Hey, you are sitting quietly. Are you sad? Come, let’s go for a drink.’ And you call him your friend.
What kind of friend is this who does not like you to do what really gives you joy? If I am your friend and you want to be alone, what am I to do? Chase you, get stuck to you or allow you to be alone. Do we really have friends?
What do your friends do? Ask yourself. Are they a crowd or are they a peaceful influence?
Know that a conditioned mind hates to be de-conditioned. It looks for those people and those situations that can reinforce its conditioning. A terrorist will not hang out with a monk, if he wants to remain a terrorist.
Arjun too had a friend, by the name of Krishna. But Krishna was a friend who brought the truth to Arjun.
So, what is friendship? Friendship is a state of being in which you are concerned not with what you can get from the other person, but in the real advancement of the other person. And the real advancement is, discovering the truth.
So a friend is a friend only if he brings you closer to the truth; in whose presence you become less agitated, in whose presence a silence comes. Not the one who keeps gossiping with you.
Find out such friends, and then there will be real magic.
Let go friends who only bring gossip to your life. Create space for the real friend.
Confidence:
What is confidence? On a normal day at home, do you require confidence to speak to your parents, to other family members?
You require confidence when you are afraid. The one who is not afraid, does not require confidence. Confidence is an indication of fear. Confidence is a false medicine. The real thing is: let there be no fear. Look into what you are afraid of. Is it about losing friends? Or any other reason?face it. Acknowledge it. Go deep into it. And get rid of that fear.
I have written in detail on such life issues in my blog - Words into Silence. For deeper clarity, I invite you to read that.
RS
Friends and Confidence.
Friends:
What is friendship? What do you mean by friendship? You are lonely and you get somebody to cling to, and then the two of you hang out together, and you call this as ‘friendship’.
We say, ‘A friend in need is a friend indeed’, it means that friendship is a trade. I need to copy assignments and you are always there, then we are friends. In all my rubbish, the one who can partner me, he is my friend.’
In a lucky moment, aloneness happens to you and you are just sitting still with yourself, fully contented, not excited, not sad, but completely with yourself. You are sitting still, and the other fellow comes and says, ‘Hey, you are sitting quietly. Are you sad? Come, let’s go for a drink.’ And you call him your friend.
What kind of friend is this who does not like you to do what really gives you joy? If I am your friend and you want to be alone, what am I to do? Chase you, get stuck to you or allow you to be alone. Do we really have friends?
What do your friends do? Ask yourself. Are they a crowd or are they a peaceful influence?
Know that a conditioned mind hates to be de-conditioned. It looks for those people and those situations that can reinforce its conditioning. A terrorist will not hang out with a monk, if he wants to remain a terrorist.
Arjun too had a friend, by the name of Krishna. But Krishna was a friend who brought the truth to Arjun.
So, what is friendship? Friendship is a state of being in which you are concerned not with what you can get from the other person, but in the real advancement of the other person. And the real advancement is, discovering the truth.
So a friend is a friend only if he brings you closer to the truth; in whose presence you become less agitated, in whose presence a silence comes. Not the one who keeps gossiping with you.
Find out such friends, and then there will be real magic.
Let go friends who only bring gossip to your life. Create space for the real friend.
Confidence:
What is confidence? On a normal day at home, do you require confidence to speak to your parents, to other family members?
You require confidence when you are afraid. The one who is not afraid, does not require confidence. Confidence is an indication of fear. Confidence is a false medicine. The real thing is: let there be no fear. Look into what you are afraid of. Is it about losing friends? Or any other reason?face it. Acknowledge it. Go deep into it. And get rid of that fear.
I have written in detail on such life issues in my blog - Words into Silence. For deeper clarity, I invite you to read that.
RS
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