You know, it was Kabir who said:
ये तो घर है प्रेम का, खाला का घर नाहिं ।
सीस उतारे भुँई धरे, तब बैठें घर माहिं ॥
You will have to die. And obviously it is not death of the physical kind. When Kabir says, ‘Cut your head before you can enter the house of love’, what does he mean? What does this denote?
This denotes the sum total of your past. This denotes the absolute sum total of your past, your attitude, your conditioning that you carry forward. You cannot get your ex-girlfriend back if you continue to be the same person who broke up. Are you getting it?
After all there was a context to the breakup. Am I right? If you are the same person who broke up, how will you engage with her again? To engage with her again you will have to be an absolutely new, fresh person, that old fellow must die. Unless the old dies there is no possibility of a new relationship. Is this becoming clear?
You are your entire worldview, you are the entire set of beliefs that you are carrying about yourself, about the world, including your girlfriend. That’s what you are in your head. And that is why Kabir says, ‘Chop it off’. But that’s not so easy, because we have grown great attachment to those dead beliefs, to all the residue of the past. We think that if it goes away, something very important goes away. We think that it is the essential ‘I’, how can we let it go off?
A relationship is lively. You cannot remain in the past and yet have a living relationship with anything, not only with your girlfriend, but with anything, anybody, not with your parents, not with your teachers, not with your friends, not with books, not with anything.
The past will have to die. The false will have to die. When the past dies, then you see the present. When the false dies, then you see the truth. Getting it?
Love is not far away, you don’t have to achieve it. Truth is not far away, neither is joy. They are all very close.
Have you ever bothered to know that why it comes to a breakup? It’s not only about the ‘girlfriend’. Have you ever bothered what is the cause of all conflict in the world? Boyfriend breaks up with girlfriend, husband fights with wife, friends can’t get together, nations are quarreling with each other, communities are fighting with each other, and all this is just the same.
Have you ever bothered to know that why there is conflict in life?
Approach her, approach the present in all freshness. It is there, right now. Let those memories, let those images be present just as an information, but let them not interfere with what is. Let them not become a substitute to what is, and then see the magic. Are you prepared to die?
RD
ये तो घर है प्रेम का, खाला का घर नाहिं ।
सीस उतारे भुँई धरे, तब बैठें घर माहिं ॥
You will have to die. And obviously it is not death of the physical kind. When Kabir says, ‘Cut your head before you can enter the house of love’, what does he mean? What does this denote?
This denotes the sum total of your past. This denotes the absolute sum total of your past, your attitude, your conditioning that you carry forward. You cannot get your ex-girlfriend back if you continue to be the same person who broke up. Are you getting it?
After all there was a context to the breakup. Am I right? If you are the same person who broke up, how will you engage with her again? To engage with her again you will have to be an absolutely new, fresh person, that old fellow must die. Unless the old dies there is no possibility of a new relationship. Is this becoming clear?
You are your entire worldview, you are the entire set of beliefs that you are carrying about yourself, about the world, including your girlfriend. That’s what you are in your head. And that is why Kabir says, ‘Chop it off’. But that’s not so easy, because we have grown great attachment to those dead beliefs, to all the residue of the past. We think that if it goes away, something very important goes away. We think that it is the essential ‘I’, how can we let it go off?
- ‘How do I get rid of it? These beliefs that I have been carrying since a very long time, this attitude has become my identity. How can I get rid of it, and if I get rid of it what will remain?’ This is a great fear.
- There is a great security in clinging to the known, in clinging to the past, but that security is a totally dead thing
A relationship is lively. You cannot remain in the past and yet have a living relationship with anything, not only with your girlfriend, but with anything, anybody, not with your parents, not with your teachers, not with your friends, not with books, not with anything.
- If you remain anchored in the past, then you will never come to the new. And this moment is always new, this moment is always new.
The past will have to die. The false will have to die. When the past dies, then you see the present. When the false dies, then you see the truth. Getting it?
Love is not far away, you don’t have to achieve it. Truth is not far away, neither is joy. They are all very close.
Have you ever bothered to know that why it comes to a breakup? It’s not only about the ‘girlfriend’. Have you ever bothered what is the cause of all conflict in the world? Boyfriend breaks up with girlfriend, husband fights with wife, friends can’t get together, nations are quarreling with each other, communities are fighting with each other, and all this is just the same.
Have you ever bothered to know that why there is conflict in life?
- There is conflict in life because man lives in a virtual reality. There is that which is real, present, and there is that which you imagine to be there. So you are here but your mind would be somewhere else, in your imaginations. There is a reality, and there is a virtual reality in the mind which is false, fake.
Approach her, approach the present in all freshness. It is there, right now. Let those memories, let those images be present just as an information, but let them not interfere with what is. Let them not become a substitute to what is, and then see the magic. Are you prepared to die?
- Love is not for the faint-hearted.
- Love is not for those who come to it as a mental, physical need.
- A man who is not self-aware can never come to love.
- Love is not for stupid people, it is great intelligence.
- Love is not for those who remain within the boundaries of their past and their conditioning, or for those who think that their hormonal surge is what love is all about.
RD
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