To understand direct relationship, we need to understand what is relationship first. Direct relationship is possible only in love.
What is the basis of these relationships? And remember if you are talking about relationships, relationships include everything. Relationship is the very state of mind. Relationship means, how I am relating to my parents? How I am relating to my neighbours? How I am relating to my books?
How I am relating to the pet animals? How I am relating to the trees? Everything, because we are relating at every point of time. Life is relationship. There is no moment when we are not relating to something. What is the basis of these relationships?
There are three kinds of basis. You can give the heading as basis of relationships?
The lowest level of relationship is - completely material. This is the way an iron relates to the magnet, but this is a totally dead relationship. This is the way sodium relates to water, sodium hydroxide is formed but this is a completely dead relationship in the sense that neither sodium nor water has any choice to understand why they are reacting. Does the iron think while it gets attracted towards the magnet? But still gets attracted. This is the lowest level of relationship where both the parties who are in the relationship don't understand why they are in a relationship. It is purely of their material conditioning that they are attracted. It is the lowest form of relationship where I do not even understand what is happening. I have just been conditioned.
Higher than this, is the second form of relationship which is because of greed and fear. We said that the lowest level is called as the material form. The second level can be called as the animal form of relationship where you are relating to the other only out of temptation because either you want something or because you are afraid. Have you seen how animals relate to each other? This is predominately found in animals.
The lowest level is called as material level. Iron does not even know why it is related to magnet. A little higher than that is the animal form which includes the greed and fear. The animals know that it is attracted but attracted because of only greed or fear. Its relationship is the either of greed or fear.
Then there is the really human basis of relationship; human basis. This human basis is of love and love alone; Pure, uncorrupted and unadulterated love
Let me tell you what the relationship that is really based on love is. A relationship based on love is the relationship free of conditions and expectations, because love does not impose conditions. Love does not say that if you do this then only you will be my son. Love does not say that I expect this and this from you. Love does not say that I have invested so much in you from the last eighteen years and now it is your time to pay back.
Love does not say that if you marry such and such girl you cannot be with me. Love is vast, love is beautiful. Love does not seek you to put you in chains. Love makes you free. Love does not say that please remove this otherwise your life will be hell. Love says that you are wonderful and beautiful just as you are. Love does not ask you to become something. Love does not say please do something so that we can be proud of you. Are you getting it? These are not the symptoms of love.
We live in memories, and experience is memory. If you remember everything that has happened in the relationship in the last ten years, then that relationship is dead.
To love is to relate free of experience.
These are the excerpts from my blog prashantadvait.com where you can find more such excerpts which can provide clarity on these topics. I invite you to visit and have more clarity on this.