Tuesday, 7 July 2015

When a teenager decides that he does not want to give into peer pressure is this cognitive or psychosocial development?

This is the development of fearlessness. 

You see, there are two kinds of people. One who are okay with themselves, they have a sense of assuredness. They do not struggle to get compliments. They say that I am alright, not much is to be achieved. They are not hungry.Their predominant thought is not about satisfying themselves, someway or the other. They feel that they are already full. These people do not demand much from anybody. They relate, they connect, they talk, and they communicate. While doing all these, they do not have a motive of obtaining something from this or that. 

Then there is another kind of mind. He is deeply dependent. He is afraid. His life is a chain of expectations.Everything that he does,everything that he thinks, all are meant for the sake of others, for the assumptions of others. 'How I am looking at others? What will the people say? Will the society approve of me? Will I be considered respectable?' That is the reason why the world around is so afraid, such a slave. 

Dependence is slavery. Whenever you will communicate with the objective of gaining somebody's agreement, with the objective of gaining somebody's approval, the consequence will be fear. Do not say that your confidence becomes low. You need confidence, only when you are afraid. 

Fearlessness helps, confidence does not help.Confidence is like a pill that you are trying to take when you are already sick. Avoid sickness. 

The pill cannot be your food, the substance of your life. I am giving you a mantra: whenever you feel scared, trembling and even hopeful in the presence of the other, and that 'other' could be a person, a thing, a situation or whatever, the 'other' is the world, whenever you feel all these, just remind yourself that I am being dependent, otherwise I could not have felt this fear. 

All fear arises from dependence. If you are not dependent, you cannot be afraid. Whenever you will be dependent, you will always be afraid. It is impossible to be dependent and simultaneously fearless. Are you getting it? In some way you are surely dependent on the world, otherwise you cannot be afraid of the world. 



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